The trials and tribulations of a growth mentality: Is it a curse or just the way sheep get us to count them when we think at night...in bed....staring.....

Yes! I survived the plague! And sorry for the absence eh! I sure hope that no one out there was holding their breath for the last couple of years waiting for me to post. Ok...so my readership peep count is not very high. But one can dream, right? 

My absence wasn't because I had a mental breakdown over the "you know what." It was more about not wanting to add to it. It was the topic of discussion no matter where you went. I really didn't want to contribute to it. Think about it. How many times did you get together with friends, family, or the kinda strange people wearing tinfoil hats sitting in a park on a bench not knowing the bus really doesn't stop there? We found ourselves constantly talking to others about something related to the "you know what?" Every single F%&$#ing time!

Sometimes we tend to get focused on things that we have no control over. It consumes us and causes lots of anxiety. But have you ever been in a situation where even though you had no control over what was going on, it was the only thing you could think about. Like damn! Why is the self checkout line at Walmart slower than the human lines? We really just need to take the mindset bias that evolves from these situations and just break our state just like your mom did when you were making lots of  noise whilst  jumping on the bed when you were a kid. Her threatening a shoe throw stopped you dead in your tracks because you knew she was accurate. Those situations trigger our fight or flight perceptions which then triggers the same anxiety you would feel if put in a dangerous situation. Just like navigating the toilet paper aisle at the grocery store during the "you know what."  Mind you, if the anxiety was because you are in the path of a massive tsunami or Sharknado, I would definitely recommend running to higher ground or into a cave. Good thing Sharknados only happen on the coast.

But how do you stop that loop? How do you break your state? Unfortunately there is no easy answer to doing that because you first have to become aware. Awareness is the hard part. One you aware, you only have one box you have to check off in those situations. And that's the check box which asks if are you in a safe place and is that really an avocado flying at your head? If you become aware that you have no control over what is going on and can confirm that you are safe, then what? Well folks, that is where a growth mentality starts to take hold. Because once you shift yourself away from the uncontrollable, you can now focus on what you CAN control. 

This is one of my favorite quotes that totally sums up growth for me:

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

– Harriet Tubman

Whenever I read that that quote I just go "WOW!". We are all dreamers to some degree. Dreams do not just what happen in you sleep. The also get created when you are awake. When you start thinking about a new project, a new house, a different job, a trip, chopping down a tree. No matter what it is, anything that you visualize as a focused goal is considered a dream at first. For people that become aware and move toward change, this functions as a catalyst for a shift towards a growth mentality. It includes the little things too. I had a dream that my cell phone bill was down to zero. I imagined myself paying it and felt the emotion of how amazing it was to have a zero balance. The context of that is just to simplify exactly how a dream can become a focused goal. And that a focused goal can then be shifted into reality through action taken by you. The first part of focused goal setting is to dream of  how it would feel to attain that which you dreamt of achieving. And here is the awesome part. It is easy to dream of something that you can feel the positive emotional energy of achievement for. It is just the first step towards that action which is the hardest. But what Harriet Tubman was really driving home was the formula of how you can affect change on many different levels. The formula is simple and easy to apply to anything:

Strength + Patience + Passion = Change

You dream by reaching for the stars with a purpose for wanting change. You use your strength to put it into action. And you temper all of the above with patience. You need to be aware that focused goals, and life in general, have to be treated like a science experiment. There is no such thing as "mistakes" or "failures." Only results.  Having that patience is knowing that when you are not getting the results you dreamed of, change parts of your process to get a different result. Like hitting the side if your computer when the printer doesn't work. Did that work? No? Then try something else like banging your mouse on your desk. All you need to be is aware that your goal should be fluid and constantly evolving. 

The source of that dream is passion. Some people out there, such as Elon Musk, have that passion and on a grander scale. I mean, who else had the idea to have booster rockets land by themselves after a major rocket launch? What about the patience required to just try, and try, and try again? With every "try," changes were applied to the process to finally get the result he was looking for.  And why didn't anyone else try to be develop the same idea? Its because Elon's dream was fueled by his personal passionate dream of producing self landing rocket boosters. He had the strength to put that dream into action. And the result is we now have booster rockets that land by themselves. And that change shifted his business. How cool is that? And Elon, if you are reading this, thank you for being such a great example of how this all works. And if you are ever in Regina, Saskatchewan Canada, we should have a beer! 

So there you go. I really wanted t to hammer home the point that you all have the tools within you to accomplish anything you put your mind focus towards. Just be open and aware that your idea can evolve. Use your passion to dream big. Have the strength to put that dream into action. And have patience in your process to make the necessary changes for your goal to evolve.  And always try, try, and try again!

Be amazing until next time!

Glenn

COVID and the conspiracy theory of why I can't remember what I am going to call this post????

Hello everyone! Before I start with my reason for writing this post I just wanted to say that I hope you are all safe and doing what you need to be doing to stop the spread of COVID-19. Be strong and know we WILL overcome this.

So I was sequestered in my condo at the beginning of March last year with the start of the Canadian Pandemic shut down. I mean, there was this one month last year in a period called "Summer" where I was able to work from the office. And for a good chunk of this year I have been home...working...eating....sleeping....working....eating while sleeping....I know! The "lather, rinse, repeat" syndrome. Almost like Bill Murray's Ground Hog Day with the exception of wearing different clothes almost every day. Yeah, I did say almost every single day. Did you know you can turn them inside out? Boy do you ever feel good in clean clothes.

I do get everyone's frustration. I don't like wearing masks either. I feel that if this was a trend prior to the pandemic we would have been wearing them a long time ago. My point is simply this. I don't live out of fear of catching the virus more than I respect Mother Nature's ability to throw us curve balls the only way she knows how. Look through the ages. There was the black plague with black oozing pustules. The 1917 pandemic where you got exposed to it one day, exhibited symptoms the next, and was dead 2 days later. Those diseases sounded scary! But my thoughts about this are simple. People that advocate based on conspiracy theories with no science to back them up are only selling themselves short. If there was a pandemic of Ebola running through our communities, how many people would shutter themselves in and yell at all the people that weren't doing the same? I mean, wouldn't it be terrifying if there was a virus waltzing through our communities that made blood ooze from.....well, you get the picture.

I remember a time when I could find things. I mean really find things. And not just somethings. EVERYTHING! My keys. My phone. My socks. My pants. My paper towel stockpile. I was literally walking into a room seven times only to forget why the f&@k I was walking into that room in the first place. And for those that know me, yeah, I know I am 51. But I didn't do this before this chaos hit.

We are the masters of our own reality. After the first couple of months of the shutdown I started to go out on my balcony and started to yell at everyone to get off my lawn as a joke. And you know what? I made a ton of friends during this time of social distancing. The young family down the hall from me. The "not that old" ladies from across the complex. And the senior couple that would wave to me every time I walked by. When the restrictions lifted a bit we had a happy hour once a week. We would sit on the lawn in our chairs having a few drinks and just enjoyed each other's company. One of the "not so old" ladies said she was going to lay a blanket down on the front lawn whenever I was out for my morning jog. And when I moved last fall, all my new friends threw me a "Going Away" happy hour with food and drink, and all socially distanced. I even got invited back after I moved. I am a blessed man for meeting all of these amazing people. 

My point is simply this. We are all frustrated. I get it. Its not easy for anyone to have to live through any of this. People have lost their jobs. Business have closed. My heart was broken not to have a Canadian football season where I did my best yelling....all positive of course. It has affected everyone. And even with this virus only affecting a certain percentage of the population, it is absolutely everyone's duty to the vulnerable to do what they can to protect them. Doing anything less is selfish. One death from COVID is too many. I don't want my parents to catch this virus. I don't want to catch this virus. And I certainly don't want to give it to anyone else. And it isn't fake! I don't believe there is a one world order forming and that all the countries in the world are plugged into this. And I certainly don't think the government is putting microchips into the Pfizer vaccine I received 2 weeks ago. It has really been a bizarre time for the human condition.

So why don't we all collectively help each other out? Why does there have to be so many conspiracy theories of control out there? Why isn't anyone protesting the big tech companies that are stockpiling our information and sending us down the algorithmic rabbit holes that some of us are finding ourselves in? I mean come on! Since I turned 51 and armed with a single status on Facebook, I have been getting bombarded with erectile dysfunction ads along with senior dating applications ads. And why doesn't Facebook know that I am a fit man that eats well and has no dysfunction whatsoever? Do they not see my food porn photos along with my workout photos? (And the lovely comments do make me smile) Does Facebook not realize how handsome I really am?  Right? That, to me, is the biggest conspiracy. Long story short, we are dealing with people's belief systems dovetailed with their subconscious bias that gets amplified when filled with information being pulled from the InterWeb. And from my NLP experiences, we cannot argue or debate with someone that believes what they feel is true to them. That's why I choose not to argue with them. 

The human condition can be a mystery sometimes. I really and honestly believe that if we respected one another enough to put on that mask, wash their hands regularly  and get vaccinated, we could get through this sooner. If we can land robots on Mars, invent super computers, and cars that park themselves, why can't we just do what we have to do to get through this? Man, do I ever miss going to football games and being able to travel across the country to sit and have a beer with my dad. We should all find our reasons for this chaos to end.

Be safe everyone!

The perfect storm for mindfulness

Good day everyone! Its funny how I always start out my blog posts with "I know its been a long time since my last post."

 I am not even sure why I don't post more often. It isn't a procrastination thing. I don't have a limiting environment that would prevent me from posting. I have a creative mind that I constantly engage with. So what gives Glenn? Are you lacking adventure? Is your life humdrum full of.....you get the hint. There is absolutely nothing that would stop me from doing this other than yours truly.

I am totally grateful for the life I lead. I have a great job. I have tons of hobbies and interests that engage me both mentally and physically. I am fit and athletic with no health issues. I have a positive mindset. Add that all together and you get a confident man that follows his passions.

News flash!!! I haven't always been this way.

 I used to be a couch potato. I used to be a smoker. I used to be overweight. I used to lack confidence. I used to be a people pleaser. That's a lot of "I used to be's."

My NLP brain asks "How did you get to be in this state of mindfulness?" That's definitely a loaded question and it has caused me to really look back at the man I was. I wasn't a very confident one. Always a people pleaser....couldn't make decisions with confidence. Even my confidence with women was 2% at best. I blamed it on being a computer nerd.

What's the difference now? Why am I so happy and content with this person I look at in the mirror everyday? How has that inner voice changed over the years and what message is it giving me now?

We are a product of every situation, event, and relationship we have ever gone through.  Everything we have been exposed to has affected us in some way. Our subconscious doesn't differentiate between positive or negative. It just records how intense things were. When you access those memories, your conscious self attaches the emotional part and that's how you feel the positive or negative value you placed on it. Until you realize it, you can't change it.

So that was the technical part. How do we apply ourselves to the change train? Sometimes it is simple, other times it isn't.

I'm sorry, it has been a long time since my last blog post. From the time I last posted until now, I became a single again. This is a prime example of what most people call a traumatic event.  And as anyone in their late 40's can attest, starting over sucks. It is primarily because we carry a negative connotation to a relationship ending. And does it really suck?  It is very rare for someone in that position to look at the positive lessons we have learned. Was that person good for me? Were we good for that person? What have I learned from this? How can I improve? Where did I put my damn keys????"

From my life experience, it is all just  a perfect storm of mindfulness. There are three parts to my theory. The first part is applying the principle of emotional intelligence. The second is using empathy to better feel what the others are feeling. The third is to how to focus on resilience. Resilience is the most important part of the equation because it is that internal process that you put into place that allows you to move on. It is a focus on things that bring happiness into your life that makes a difference. You own your own happiness so take care of it!

Using a relationship ending is definitely a good example of a disappointing event.  You have to reel in all your emotions, roll along the roller coaster of emotions that go from happy to sad in the blink of an eye. And while all this is going on, that dang inner voice starts.

We all know that inner voice. When something goes wrong its that voice we hear in our head saying things like "You idiot! Why did you go back to the buffet for seconds?" Its the voice that guilts you...makes you feel small.  It is that voice that reflects what direction your mind state is going and it is the most powerful voice you will choose to never hear. And I did say choose.

Guess what? You do hear it! It is always loud and clear. The issue is, we choose to ignore it just like we choose to ignore our kids fighting loudly in the other room until one of them cries out in pain. We start to focus on the negative and never realize what it takes to reframe it to the positive. Why do we do that? What purpose in advancing our lives and evolving as people does that inner voice serve? Truth? Listening to that negative inner voice only serves to limit you. It stops you and places you in a perpetual loop of despair. That's where the questions like "why me" and "what if" come into play. Why does this happen to me and what if I did something different? Why doesn't this person love me and what if I tried harder? I could go on and on about the inner messages we send ourselves. "What if" and "why me" serve absolutely no purpose to you

What if there was one "what if" that would hep you determine your path to happiness?

What if there was a way you could change that inner voice? There is a way and it all starts with the effort of you telling that voice to shut up! Its that simple! Its like when those same kids fighting in the other room get louder and it finally gets to you. What do you do? You yell "SHUT UP!" And what do they do? They stop dead in their tracks because you just broke their state. The same goes for that inner voice of yours. It reflects your state of being. You tell it to shut up and then you ask yourself the following questions:

Does this dialog serve a greater purpose? Does this dialog allow me the limitless freedom to evolve?

If your answer is "No" to either or both of these questions, then it is time to tell yourself to shut up! You tell your inner voice that this is not serving a purpose that will allow you to live your life versus letting it pass you by. How do you change the dialog you ask?  You need to take stock in what you have right now. You also need to take what positive lessons you actually learned from the situation, and dove tail that with where you want to go and evolve as a person. Notice I never once said to focus on the negative parts? That's because you are going to leave that behind that crap and change the dialog to reflect positivity and a direction that won't limit you.

Its one thing to feel that sense of loss when something wonderful comes to an end  or a situation that doesn't turn out the way you wanted. It feels amazing to be liberated from the negative feelings that would stop you in your tracks. You need to be able to focus on where you need to go and evolve as a person. You need to change your inner state to something positive which will then change your outer state.

Thanks for taking time to read this post! I truly hope you have an amazing rest of your day/evening!

The signs of the universe through the sleeves of change....

I hope this post finds you in great spirits!

Change is all around us. Being a 70's child, I always reminisce about what it was like way back then, and how everything is now. The obvious areas that most people that have been around for awhile focus on are music, clothes, cars, and technology. We have gone from having only 3 channels, rabbit ear reception, and manual channel switching to internet connected TV's, computers and cell phones.

But what about us? Why can't we notice what changes occur in ourselves?

Change is not always about technology and lifestyle. Inner change is a huge deal too. The way our subconscious works, we have to be open to possibilities on how we view the world and ourselves. The world doesn't change because it needs to. The world changes because people make changes, positive or negative. The signs are there in many forms and we just have to be open to them.

For example, I have this dress shirt that I love wearing. When I bought it, I was starting my journey to being 290 lbs. At one point I couldn't wear this shirt any more. It was always hanging in the closet, calling out to me to put it on. And I would put it on and  wince at not only the possibility of buttons almost popping off and ricocheting off the walls, severely injuring me, but I was also made weary of how heavy I had become.

Then I lost weight....

I started wearing the shirt more until it became apparent that I had lost more weight than I was at when I first bought said shirt. But I didn't care. I liked the shirt. For the last few months I have been paring down my clothes. Most of them I swim in so I figured I would donate them to charity.....but I kept the shirt.

I was wearing this shirt one day at a training session at work. One of my colleagues kept on pointing to her sleeve and laughing at me. It took her 5 times of doing that with me reacting by giving her my "confused smiley face" until I realized she was actually looking at my left sleeve. I looked and my heart sank! The elbow was worn out and showing skin. What was I going to do? I'm never going to look handsome again! I could never wear this shirt again! But then it dawned on me that maybe this was a sign from the universe telling me that I needed to move on and start my new journey by letting go of something that anchored me to my old journey. The shirt symbolized  something to me...I felt positive and empowered in that shirt.  Now that I am a fit and very positive person, I didn't need this shirt to make me feel that way. It was in me already. I just needed to see the signs and take that first step towards the next part of the path I am going to travel. 

So I folded up the shirt and placed it in a storage container with other things that have symbolized a milestone. And now I am looking at my new path.....and it was just made brighter by a smiling face.

Cheers!

The universe and how it's awesome to be too good to be true....

I have to say I'm not very good at keeping up with this blog. Yes, I know there are a few that rather liked to read the wise words of wisdom I have graced the internet with. But really Glenn? One blog post a month would even be better than none right?

A lot has happened since my last blog post. My son made a full recovery from his drowning incident. He has since moved out on his own and is working full time which means that even though he is now a productive member of society.......the nest is empty.

Life moves at a tremendous pace. You either go with it or fall behind. Its easy to get overwhelmed with how a person moves through this maze of  twists and turns. The only question that needs to be answered is when change looks in your direction, Are you going to run towards it or run away from it?

Change is the catalyst that gets us to our life's next waypoint. Sometimes it is caused by us and sometimes it is caused by things outside of our immediate control. One form of change is calculated and on purpose, while the other is forced upon us causing us to react. For me, this last year has been a combination of both.

It started in November of 2016 when an announcement was made that affected over 50 people that I work with. They were moving our jobs to another city and that we had 6 months left before they turned out the lights. A week after that announcement, I attended the premiere of my latest movie project, Patient 62. My son moved out during that same month as well. So while I was sitting there pondering my options...well, it was more like panicking because now I had to start looking for work after being gainfully employed with the same company for over 9 years. The fact I was going to be 47 and looking for works scared the crap out of me.

 Emotional times eh. The winds of change were blowing like a hurricane and 2017 loomed over my head.

Then a funny thing happened.......January 1st, 2017 hit. I spent the day feeling the optimism of a newly minted year. I felt a great energy that everything was going to be ok and that I will land on my feet....somehow. I knew this was going to be a landmark year. The template was there, I just didn't know who or what was going to fill in the blanks.


Losing my job rippled through other parts of my life as well. No more corporate rates for my gym activities. That's right, I was forced to change workout facilities because of my pending job loss. I was also single again and feeling the gravity of yearning for human connection. It was a very overwhelming period. With those negatives came some developing positives. Patient 62 struck a North American distribution deal, my training as a certified NLP practitioner was nearing completion, and I made a deal with myself to focus on losing weight and getting into the best shape of my life.

All this was on my plate for 2017! My old mindset would have already been telling me that there is no way you are going to accomplish any of this. But my budding NLP brain told me that you need to focus on the journey, put the proper things in place and before you know it your goal would be reached.

Now I can write about my entire 2017 journey in this one blog post, but we are now in 2018. So let's look at how my year went but in point form:

*I went from 280 lbs as of Nov 2016 to 196 lbs as of right now. See the picture below for the results
*I got hired by a major bank.
*The movie I play a lead role in, Patient 62,  has successfully launched on major VOD platforms all over North America (iTunes, Google Play, Amazon, PS4, Xbox One, Rogers VOD, MTS, Verizon FIOS). We just made an announcement it will be in China this spring!
*I became a certified NLP Practitioner.
*My production business, Dead Rockstar Productions, has started to attract clients for marketing and corporate videos. Soon I will be producing my first feature film called Faccioun (sounds like faction). A thriller based on a story I wrote about a secret society of serial killers.

So as you can see, change can be quite overwhelming when just looking at it. You know deep down inside that you must take that first step to start the journey. That's the hardest part. The amazing part is that when you get to the other side and look back at where you started from, it is a totally empowering moment to realize that you did make something awesome happen. The unknown path is a scary path. You just have to remember that you need to treat your goals like experiments being made by a scientist. If you are not getting the results you want, change something you are doing to change the results. Its funny how cliché that all sounds. It is part of the true path of making your dreams into goals, and your goals into reality.Ask yourself this question. Why can't too good to be true be just true?

Have an amazing day!!

The picture on the right was taken in Nov of 2016. The one on the right was taken in Oct of 2017.

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Private name....Private Number

Greetings world! Once again I say "Its been such a long time since my last confession......I mean since my last blog post. There have definitely been more ups and downs over the last year, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for the "down" that our family experienced this past Friday.


It was early evening when I received the call that no parent ever wants to get. The first call came in as a "Private name/Private Number" and because I have a new cell number I figured it was someone calling for the previous owner of the number. I let it go to voicemail....but none was left. It rang again a second time and again I let it go to voicemail and again no voicemail was left. It rang a 3rd time. Very persistent this person was....so I answered it not knowing that this was the start of what was to become a very rough and emotional weekend.


The lady on the other end said she was with the RCMP and that my son Brandon was involved in a drowning accident and that he had left by ambulance 10 minutes ago. That's what I heard. My heart sank...tears streamed down my face. I thought I lost my baby. When I told my girlfriend what was going on she asked if he was ok and all I could say was that I didn't know....I only heard the bad stuff. It wasn't until I put the phone back to my ear that I heard the officer repeat what she had said, that Brandon was ok and that he was conscious and talking and was being transported to the hospital.


A million things can race through your mind when confronted with your child going through a health crisis like this. I was told to relax and that he was going to be ok....but the only thing I focused on was the fact that my son could have died today....that he was very close to it and that if it weren't for those wonderful, quick thinking kids....I mean young adults he calls friends, I wouldn't be here telling you that my little boy, the very one that I have worked so hard to protect when he was younger, was now taking his first steps into adulthood by getting his driver's license! That's right! In one week we went from almost losing him to now embracing the big step of gaining that freedom he has worked so hard to get to. That, my friends, is something that generates so many emotions all at once that I literally cannot leave my cubicle at work for fear that someone might see me shed a tear. If things had worked out differently, this day would have been so sad. But it didn't work out that way.


My girlfriend is a very wise woman who I give a lot of credit when it comes to balancing our world. Even though in the beginning I wasn't listening to her when she said "He is all right" and that "he didn't die," today through reflection on the day, I see that I can focus on the positive and that he is all right and that he didn't die. My advice to you is that whenever you do get a "Private name/Private number" popping up on your phone, answer it! It may be the most important call you will ever get!


I want to share a huge milestone with you. Those of you that have followed me know I have been on a journey of self improvement. My journey started 6 years ago when I decided I wanted to be an actor and become more involved in my local film industry. Last year we were in a contest with a film project called Patient 62. We left the contest early and went out on our own to film it last fall. I am happy to announce that we are now closer to having the movie ready to show to all of you! We just released a teaser trailer and I am proud to say that we now have over 7,000 views! I will leave the link below for you to enjoy. Please share it with your peeps and Tweeps. We would love to hear your impressions so please leave a comment as well!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM3g1mmUnkI


Before I leave you today, I wanted to give you something to mull over. Its very mind boggling to think that since my last blog post on Oct 6th of 2015, there have been 206 mass shootings in the US that had four or more victims injured or dead. Since January of 2016 there have been 141 mass shootings in the U.S. involving four or more people with 5 of those happening since the Orlando incident. There needs to be a dialog and affirmative action taken on why there are so many guns available in the US. And oh yeah, please don't vote for Donald Trump.


Have a great day everyone! I will have more to post in the coming weeks so please come back!








Note: Mass shooting statistics were taken from the gun violence archive at http://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shootings/2015?page=1

Dating in your 40's: Intelligence and the ability to engage....the rest is just sexy icing

Hey everyone! I know...it has been awhile! Where have you been you ask? Well, that's a good question. I haven't really left. I've been busy. Very busy. What does this have to do with dating in your 40's you ask? Everything!

I've been single for awhile. I won't say how long it has been, but 5 years seems to be a good, uneven number to throw out there. It hasn't been easy in any sense of the word but I wouldn't change it for anything and here's why. If it wasn't for my last long term relationship ending I would have never embarked on this current journey where I have found my creative self. I really like this new me! It has shown itself in bits and pieces throughout my life so it was about time that it showed up in my life as a permanent resident. The downside to that is the fact that I've been so busy that I have had to rely on internet dating to bring dream girl into my life. Its easier than it sounds and in some cases it can get very expensive.

Before we move on let's recap of what I have previously written in my unintentional series of Dating in your 40's. If you have followed this blog you may have read a couple of posts where I spoke about the pros and mostly cons of dating in your 40's. I remember back in the day, when I was in my 20's, of meeting a "person of interest" through the means of going somewhere and actually meeting "the one" unintentionally. The internet was not even in our thoughts yet. Of course going to the bar was the best way to connect back then but, as time went on, the ways and means to meeting other single people changed. What changed it? The internet did! I blame the internet for the fall of proper human communication. I previously wrote about how I met three very real women and that they perfectly summed up my dating woes. They were Crack Pipe Girl, Meat Draw Girl, and Wheezy.

Crack Pipe Girl felt comfortable enough to tell me that 2 weeks before we met she had finished a 6 month crack binge and that as long as she stayed off the pipe she was fine. The next person was Meat Draw Girl. I met her, and her mom, at a local pub. She failed to tell me they would have been drinking there all day so that by the time I walked in the door I must have looked pretty good. Long story short, I had to stay until the meat draw happened. Then I offered them both a ride home, being it was winter. Meat Draw girl yelled back at mom saying "Mom! He has a car!" I really had to figure out a great exit strategy on that one. Last on the list was Wheezy. Being I am a non smoker it was important to find someone that was also a non-smoker. Wheezy put in her profile that she was a non smoker but when we met she had a smoke hanging out of her mouth and smoke billowed out of her van. That was alot of fun listening to that constant wheeze in her laugh. My point is, the whole online dating thing raised my expectations to the point that when I came home after these disasters, I felt dejected and more lonely than ever. What was missing? Connection.

All three of them totally defined exactly how much more hit and miss online dating is compared to back in the day when we just MET people. I realized very quickly that I had raised my standards because of how much harder I worked for what I wanted to achieve. I didn't have to settle.  What I didn't realize is was that when the other parties lower their standards I suddenly become prime rib. This realization really made me pull back even more and place more energy into my creativity. It was fate's way of telling me not to lower my standards and settle. I was to hold out for something that was real. Prime rib should attract prime rib is basically the analogy I would use. But how does that help with meeting someone who piques your interest enough to embark on a journey of getting to know each other and ultimately falling madly in love? Why am I hungry talking about online dating? Oh yeah....prime rib.

Online dating doesn't help and here's why. You create your online dating profile. Immediately the site starts to ask you questions to get you to fill in the blanks. What's your body type? Well if I put average then the ladies will either think I am overweight or perhaps I have some esteem issues. If I say athletic will they think I am a liar because I don't have the physique of The Rock. What do I like to do in my spare time? Well, if I list everything will they think I am too busy? If I mention I am an actor will they think I am a liar? My point is, honesty is not promoted on these sites. You can be anyone you want to be. For those of you in your 40's you will laugh at this reference. When I was younger, I watched a cartoon called The Flinstones, I remembered an episode where Wilma wanted to win a big prize in a contest that asked wives to talk about all the cool things their husbands did. Long story short, she embellished Fred so much that she won the contest and Fred had to go and do all the things she said he could do. That's not so different when it comes to our reality. Online dating sites, between the lines, ask us to embellish ourselves to make us look good to perspective mates. We have no idea about how honest these people are being. The sad part is, even if they are telling the truth, sometimes they seem too good to be real......and because there is soooo much embellishment going on that even the honest ones are being put into the reject pile. Add on the fact that some of our pictures don't tell the complete story.

About 3 weeks ago a friend of mine hosted a party where single people could come and mingle. No profiles.....no embellishment of ourselves. It was a gourmet grilled cheese party along with Tomohawk throwing with some alcohol in the mix. Fun stuff! I was nervous going because I would know one person. I would have to be myself and would not be able to let my my dating profile do the talking. I would have to meet people and actually have conversations from scratch. And then in walked a woman with an engaging and genuine smile with the energy about her that made everyone else seem distant to me. We conversed for a good portion of the night. There was mingling as there were others there.....but at the end of the night, we both found each other a amazing and added each other on Facebook. We also expressed the desire to meet again.

Since the party, we started to converse a little bit. Because my dating perspective of "too good to be true" had been ruling my dating life, I held back a bit. Once the frequency of conversations picked up I really started to like this person and was reminded that this was the kind of connection I was looking for. We arranged to meet again but because I have been online for so long I felt the need to talk more about my physical self and not my intellectual self.

 To bring that part into perspective, I have to give a little bit of my physical history. Over a year ago I was 265 lbs. I felt being over weight really held me back. And it did on many levels. Long story short, I am now 55 lbs of fat lighter and 20 lbs of new muscle has replaced it all because of working out consistently. I jokingly told this person I could have sent her a topless picture and her reply was that I didn't need any pre-advertising. I immediately thought that she liked what she saw. Her reply to that was very profound. She said that she also liked what she heard. She went on to say that she liked  my intelligence and the ability to engage and that the rest was just "sexy icing." Someone liked me for me. The fact I was an artist, single dad, dog owner, etc, piqued her interest as her intelligence had  also piqued mine.

People need to realize that dating is more than just a physical thing. Our primal human instincts force us to find a mate. Back in the days when we did cave paintings, dating was just simply meeting and grunting. We have definitely evolved from that but there is one thing  that we have forgotten to do, because of the internet, and that is showcasing every aspect of ourselves including our intelligence. Why waste our time looking at online profiles when we can just go out and meet? Long story short, we will meet later today and carry on with our conversation. It will be engaging with sexy icing to boot!

Before I end this post I wanted to ask everyone to help out with a project I have been working on for the past few months. I am part of a film group trying to get a movie filmed called Patient 62. We ran the project through a Canadian indie film process called CineCoup. We were a top 5 contender but pulled out for fear of losing control of certain aspects of our project. We currently have an Indiegogo campaign going on and would love either some help in getting some funding or even to have people spread the word. Please have a look at our campaign video that also includes a concept trailer. I have a prime role in this baby so there is alot of motivation for me to share this with you all. Have a look at the link below! If you know of anyone wanting to invest in a film, please guide them to our site!

Have an awesome day!

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/patient-62-the-movie#/story