I am not even sure why I don't post more often. It isn't a procrastination thing. I don't have a limiting environment that would prevent me from posting. I have a creative mind that I constantly engage with. So what gives Glenn? Are you lacking adventure? Is your life humdrum full of.....you get the hint. There is absolutely nothing that would stop me from doing this other than yours truly.
I am totally grateful for the life I lead. I have a great job. I have tons of hobbies and interests that engage me both mentally and physically. I am fit and athletic with no health issues. I have a positive mindset. Add that all together and you get a confident man that follows his passions.
News flash!!! I haven't always been this way.
I used to be a couch potato. I used to be a smoker. I used to be overweight. I used to lack confidence. I used to be a people pleaser. That's a lot of "I used to be's."
My NLP brain asks "How did you get to be in this state of mindfulness?" That's definitely a loaded question and it has caused me to really look back at the man I was. I wasn't a very confident one. Always a people pleaser....couldn't make decisions with confidence. Even my confidence with women was 2% at best. I blamed it on being a computer nerd.
What's the difference now? Why am I so happy and content with this person I look at in the mirror everyday? How has that inner voice changed over the years and what message is it giving me now?
We are a product of every situation, event, and relationship we have ever gone through. Everything we have been exposed to has affected us in some way. Our subconscious doesn't differentiate between positive or negative. It just records how intense things were. When you access those memories, your conscious self attaches the emotional part and that's how you feel the positive or negative value you placed on it. Until you realize it, you can't change it.
So that was the technical part. How do we apply ourselves to the change train? Sometimes it is simple, other times it isn't.
I'm sorry, it has been a long time since my last blog post. From the time I last posted until now, I became a single again. This is a prime example of what most people call a traumatic event. And as anyone in their late 40's can attest, starting over sucks. It is primarily because we carry a negative connotation to a relationship ending. And does it really suck? It is very rare for someone in that position to look at the positive lessons we have learned. Was that person good for me? Were we good for that person? What have I learned from this? How can I improve? Where did I put my damn keys????"
From my life experience, it is all just a perfect storm of mindfulness. There are three parts to my theory. The first part is applying the principle of emotional intelligence. The second is using empathy to better feel what the others are feeling. The third is to how to focus on resilience. Resilience is the most important part of the equation because it is that internal process that you put into place that allows you to move on. It is a focus on things that bring happiness into your life that makes a difference. You own your own happiness so take care of it!
Using a relationship ending is definitely a good example of a disappointing event. You have to reel in all your emotions, roll along the roller coaster of emotions that go from happy to sad in the blink of an eye. And while all this is going on, that dang inner voice starts.
We all know that inner voice. When something goes wrong its that voice we hear in our head saying things like "You idiot! Why did you go back to the buffet for seconds?" Its the voice that guilts you...makes you feel small. It is that voice that reflects what direction your mind state is going and it is the most powerful voice you will choose to never hear. And I did say choose.
Guess what? You do hear it! It is always loud and clear. The issue is, we choose to ignore it just like we choose to ignore our kids fighting loudly in the other room until one of them cries out in pain. We start to focus on the negative and never realize what it takes to reframe it to the positive. Why do we do that? What purpose in advancing our lives and evolving as people does that inner voice serve? Truth? Listening to that negative inner voice only serves to limit you. It stops you and places you in a perpetual loop of despair. That's where the questions like "why me" and "what if" come into play. Why does this happen to me and what if I did something different? Why doesn't this person love me and what if I tried harder? I could go on and on about the inner messages we send ourselves. "What if" and "why me" serve absolutely no purpose to you
What if there was one "what if" that would hep you determine your path to happiness?
What if there was a way you could change that inner voice? There is a way and it all starts with the effort of you telling that voice to shut up! Its that simple! Its like when those same kids fighting in the other room get louder and it finally gets to you. What do you do? You yell "SHUT UP!" And what do they do? They stop dead in their tracks because you just broke their state. The same goes for that inner voice of yours. It reflects your state of being. You tell it to shut up and then you ask yourself the following questions:
Does this dialog serve a greater purpose? Does this dialog allow me the limitless freedom to evolve?
If your answer is "No" to either or both of these questions, then it is time to tell yourself to shut up! You tell your inner voice that this is not serving a purpose that will allow you to live your life versus letting it pass you by. How do you change the dialog you ask? You need to take stock in what you have right now. You also need to take what positive lessons you actually learned from the situation, and dove tail that with where you want to go and evolve as a person. Notice I never once said to focus on the negative parts? That's because you are going to leave that behind that crap and change the dialog to reflect positivity and a direction that won't limit you.
Its one thing to feel that sense of loss when something wonderful comes to an end or a situation that doesn't turn out the way you wanted. It feels amazing to be liberated from the negative feelings that would stop you in your tracks. You need to be able to focus on where you need to go and evolve as a person. You need to change your inner state to something positive which will then change your outer state.
Thanks for taking time to read this post! I truly hope you have an amazing rest of your day/evening!
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