Greetings everyone! I hope you are reading this post with a smile in your heart.
Life is funny. We all have hopes and dreams. Goals and aspirations. We grow up wanting to be doctors, lawyers, astronauts. We dream about it. Sometimes we eat and sleep these aspirations. But as humans are programmed to be this way, it seems that we almost always tend to overlook the one thing that controls our destiny.....Fate. Some people believe in Fate exclusively. They think it controls everything. My take on it is that fate feeds off of the energy we send out. If you are in a dark place emotionally, negative things get thrown our way. If we are in a good place great things come our way...or so it seems. That's where the pendulum wreaks havoc and sometimes throws fate a curve ball.
There are a lot of things we have yet to understand about our existence. Centuries ago, we used to think that everything revolved around the Earth and that it was flat and that we would fall off the edge if we went too far. We now know that is not science fact. We now know our universe is a vast expanse populated with a whole bunch of questions marks. We are just starting to learn our potential and how it pertains to this universe as a whole. Its very mind boggling to think of how complex our reality is. I really feel our life is controlled by three elements. 1) The energy we put out, 2) Fate, 3) The "Life Pendulum.
I think, for the most part, that most people know about how the power of attraction uses the energy we pipe out into the world to determine what gets thrown back. I can attest to that. I practice daily on how to turn my negative situations into ones that I direct into positive outcomes. I never swear at that @&%!ing "you-know-who" that just cut me off on the road. The Fate element deals primarily on how, through a series of events, we meet people or how certain situations manifest themselves in our life. Its the life pendulum that is the element that is often over looked. It has two parts: The negative backswing and the Positive upswing.
When I look back over the years I can see how my life has taken turns for the worse as well as the good. I ignored these cycles swings. Because we are a "fast food" society where everything seems to be better when its faster, we tend to get impatient when the "life pendulum" doesn't keep up. My life experience and how I have lived it is a prime example. The fact is it will never keep up with what society wants. Its controlled by fate and by the energy we send out. My pendulum swings very slowly and I am very thankful for that because it makes me the person I am today. We need to accept the negative backswings as a means to learn who we are and what we are capable of. We all have the ability to make things right in our world through perseverance and the drive to make things better. But because the pendulum moves slowly, we tend to ignore it and focus on the bad things that happen to us. I was in that frame of mind for most of my life until I finally figured out that in the order for me to have a positive life I had to change my frame of mind as well recognize that patience was needed to deal with the pendulum.
I can totally see when my life started its upswing. It was in 2000. My grandma had just passed away, my wife had left me and had taken my son with her the next day. Seems pretty negative. My son also had an eating disorder that we were dealing with.....and I also didn't have a car. Sounds like a country song waiting to happen doesn't it? We walked or took the bus everywhere. I had a landlord that moved us around 3 times in one month. It was a very hard time indeed. But something was different when I look back at those dark times. I didn't see it at the time but deep down inside something was stirring inside of me. It was the drive for a better outcome to my life. I focused on my son's feeding issues. Once positive progress had been made with him, then a car manifested itself into my life which opened the door to better employment. I had a few lapses where my positive outcome goals were overwhelmed with people and situations that had negativity attached to them. I worked through all that and basically started purging people that had been trying to manipulate me through their negative influences. I avoided the negative situations that would sometimes pull me in. My son thrived, my employment opportunities got better, and my life lessons started sticking. Four years ago it all came to a head where I made the decision to start making my life better because I wanted to. I got into acting, which lead to writing...which lead to stand up comedy...which lead to a new car...which lead to....get the picture? The fact is, that when the upswing starts things really start happening. I feel now that my life is full of positive energy that is slowing down the pendulum upswing so that I can savor it...allow it to "catch up" and get me to where I want to be in my life. Currently fate is also acting in a positive way in my life. Now its putting the people I need to help me get to the next level into my life. I am making new and strong friendships. My film contacts are there....my script writing is now being recognized (more announcements about that next week....). Life is awesome for me!
I want to encourage all who read my blog regularly to try and recognize and change all that influences your life in a negative way. Your frame of mind is paramount to bringing in the right elements that make life fulfilling. Once you start forcing that change in mindset, it allows that pendulum to start its upswing. And from there, the sky is the limit....or so it seems!
Have a great week everyone! Cheers!
G.
Saturday 28 September 2013
Monday 2 September 2013
Guest Blog: Empowerment: Choosing Happiness
Greetings everyone! I know, I know, this is quite unorthodox. Two posts in three days? There is a good reason for this. This post was written by a very dear friend of mine that is one of the most amazing people I know. Believe me, she says I am brave from all the things I do...but to know my dear friend Red Bird is to know exactly what courage and bravery really means. We met in highschool and became the best of friends instantly. She was the first school friend to ever remember my birthday and she even gave me a present. I still have the book....Stephen King's Eye of the Dragon. Its these little gestures that she is known for that go along with that contagious smile of hers. Other than the fact that she said I had an "apple ass" in school (I still don't get it...its more ass shaped if you assk me) I trust this woman. She really gets life and has a very unique way of explaining it. She references her blog in this post....please read it. Its has been an amazing journey my dear friend has been on and it really brings home the human condition. But enough of the mushy stuff.....I give you my dear friend Red Bird from the blog Am I lost:
Empowerment: Choosing Happiness
Empowerment: Choosing Happiness
I’m a blogger. I blog. It’s what I do.
I’m a talker. I talk. It’s what I do.
Basically, I communicate. It’s what I’m good at, but, with that said, this funny thing has happened lately; while I talk incessantly, and I communicate ad nauseum, I don’t blog anymore. It seems that I have lost the “Je ne sais quoi” that led me to an almost exasperating need to document, to legitimize my every feeling via my laptop keyboard. I have lost my writing Mojo.
So, dear friend, when you asked me to guest blog for you, it took me FOREVER to get around to doing it, didn’t it?! You did, after all, first shoot out the idea months ago. Despite the fact that you wrote a guest piece for my blog ( http://birdieandsparrow.blogspot.ca/2012/11/life-happens-wear-helmet.html ), I still failed to come up with a piece for you in return. Finally, out of shame in response to your most recent request for me to get a move on it(though you termed it more politely!), I pulled out the lap top, fired it up, and did more than just stare at my word processor and then switch to Netflix - I started writing!
Why have I stopped writing? There are several reasons, I suspect: lack of interest, pure laziness and overwork among a few, yes, but, more importantly because…and get ready for this because this might be an odd answer…because I’m HAPPY!
When you take a creative writing class, the first, and perhaps most obvious, lesson you learn is to “write what you know about”. With that in mind, my blog is an outlet for my “knowledge”. As a Mom of an Autistic child, I write about pain, indecision, loss, fear. I write about my struggles, her struggles, and the struggles of my family. Basically, I bounce my thoughts off of my readers in the hopes that what will bounce back will be understanding, empathy and encouragement.
…because I’m HAPPY
When I was younger - a wild and crazy teen and young adult - I thought happy meant laughing, partying, being the centre of attention. As an adult, I thought it was something I should aspire to and strive for, something I should find the meaning of, something everyone, but me, had.
Then, one day recently, I was sitting on the couch, snuggling my puppy, drinking coffee, watching a movie, and it came to me; I’m happy. That one moment in time, snuggling with the puppy left me feeling peaceful and content - like all was “right” in my world. I discovered, in that moment, that happiness is a moment where you’re not striving, when you are content in your skin and in your reality.
How could I be “happy” when nothing had changed in my life? My child was still Autistic and I was still an overtired, overworked single mother trying to make my way in the world without being dependant on people around me. What can be good about those circumstances? What had changed, interestingly, was my bullshit attitude that happiness is an abstract concept, and not my situation. I realized, finally, that happiness is a state of mind. It is not an absence of sadness, as I misguidedly thought, but rather, an acceptance of sadness and hardship and an agreement with yourself to still be grateful for your life, and your blessings.
“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.”
-Lucille Ball
My world, for all its flaws and pain and heartache was going to be alright, I realized, because I’m capable of making it alright and in that moment, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and puppy kisses I understood:” happy” is realizing, and accepting, and feeling gratitude for yourself and all that you can do and be. It’s not laughter or the absence of pain; it’s the beauty of moments that fill you with peace.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
-Carl Jung
I’d discovered peace that day.
This discovery left me so wide open that I felt empowered and, I suspect, because of that revelation, left me capable of handling what was going to come next…a beautiful man who was about to knock me off of my feet and make me feel something I had never felt before: unabashed contentment. In return, in my revelation, I know I can give him the same.
In the end, we need to challenge what we think “happy” means. We need to challenge how we find it, where we find it and what we think it should look like. Most importantly, I think we have to stop looking for it. “Happiness” is not a hunt; it’s not a journey, but a state of being. I’m going to kiss each of my beautiful children, I’m going to smile at my ex-husband and let him off of the hook for being human and I’m going to ask nothing more of my new love than that he be as content, and as giving and honest, with me as I am going to be with him. You Glenn, I’m going to continue to remind on a regular basis that I love you because you figuratively held my hand through some very painful moments, old friend. Together, we shall revel in “happy” and I look forward to being interested in writing for my own blog again someday soon.
I’m a talker. I talk. It’s what I do.
Basically, I communicate. It’s what I’m good at, but, with that said, this funny thing has happened lately; while I talk incessantly, and I communicate ad nauseum, I don’t blog anymore. It seems that I have lost the “Je ne sais quoi” that led me to an almost exasperating need to document, to legitimize my every feeling via my laptop keyboard. I have lost my writing Mojo.
So, dear friend, when you asked me to guest blog for you, it took me FOREVER to get around to doing it, didn’t it?! You did, after all, first shoot out the idea months ago. Despite the fact that you wrote a guest piece for my blog ( http://birdieandsparrow.blogspot.ca/2012/11/life-happens-wear-helmet.html ), I still failed to come up with a piece for you in return. Finally, out of shame in response to your most recent request for me to get a move on it(though you termed it more politely!), I pulled out the lap top, fired it up, and did more than just stare at my word processor and then switch to Netflix - I started writing!
Why have I stopped writing? There are several reasons, I suspect: lack of interest, pure laziness and overwork among a few, yes, but, more importantly because…and get ready for this because this might be an odd answer…because I’m HAPPY!
When you take a creative writing class, the first, and perhaps most obvious, lesson you learn is to “write what you know about”. With that in mind, my blog is an outlet for my “knowledge”. As a Mom of an Autistic child, I write about pain, indecision, loss, fear. I write about my struggles, her struggles, and the struggles of my family. Basically, I bounce my thoughts off of my readers in the hopes that what will bounce back will be understanding, empathy and encouragement.
…because I’m HAPPY
hap·py
/ˈhapē/
Adjective
| |
Synonyms
|
When I was younger - a wild and crazy teen and young adult - I thought happy meant laughing, partying, being the centre of attention. As an adult, I thought it was something I should aspire to and strive for, something I should find the meaning of, something everyone, but me, had.
Then, one day recently, I was sitting on the couch, snuggling my puppy, drinking coffee, watching a movie, and it came to me; I’m happy. That one moment in time, snuggling with the puppy left me feeling peaceful and content - like all was “right” in my world. I discovered, in that moment, that happiness is a moment where you’re not striving, when you are content in your skin and in your reality.
How could I be “happy” when nothing had changed in my life? My child was still Autistic and I was still an overtired, overworked single mother trying to make my way in the world without being dependant on people around me. What can be good about those circumstances? What had changed, interestingly, was my bullshit attitude that happiness is an abstract concept, and not my situation. I realized, finally, that happiness is a state of mind. It is not an absence of sadness, as I misguidedly thought, but rather, an acceptance of sadness and hardship and an agreement with yourself to still be grateful for your life, and your blessings.
“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.”
-Lucille Ball
My world, for all its flaws and pain and heartache was going to be alright, I realized, because I’m capable of making it alright and in that moment, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and puppy kisses I understood:” happy” is realizing, and accepting, and feeling gratitude for yourself and all that you can do and be. It’s not laughter or the absence of pain; it’s the beauty of moments that fill you with peace.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
-Carl Jung
I’d discovered peace that day.
This discovery left me so wide open that I felt empowered and, I suspect, because of that revelation, left me capable of handling what was going to come next…a beautiful man who was about to knock me off of my feet and make me feel something I had never felt before: unabashed contentment. In return, in my revelation, I know I can give him the same.
In the end, we need to challenge what we think “happy” means. We need to challenge how we find it, where we find it and what we think it should look like. Most importantly, I think we have to stop looking for it. “Happiness” is not a hunt; it’s not a journey, but a state of being. I’m going to kiss each of my beautiful children, I’m going to smile at my ex-husband and let him off of the hook for being human and I’m going to ask nothing more of my new love than that he be as content, and as giving and honest, with me as I am going to be with him. You Glenn, I’m going to continue to remind on a regular basis that I love you because you figuratively held my hand through some very painful moments, old friend. Together, we shall revel in “happy” and I look forward to being interested in writing for my own blog again someday soon.
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