No! Don't you dare read this blog.....No!

Ok. So I guess you didn't listen and now you are reading this blog. And if you aren't...well you are. That's so schizophrenic of you.

Its funny how on a daily basis, we don't follow the status quo. We started defying our parents, some of us spent a good majority of our childhood grounded. Right? As we get older, we still have these traits. They are just more refined. Take the dating game for instance. That's one of the best examples I can bring forward. The "Love Game" is something that not only effects our lives, but our lives effect it as well. When it evolves we have no &*@!ing idea on why we are failing. We aren't failing though. We need to adjust. Synch it up.

At the beginning of our dating lives, defiance is what drives conflicts with our parents. My teenage years were no exception. I had many battles with my mom during those years. "But I love her mom!" That phrase was iterated with each new love interest. And when she would say no to it, I would sneak out and do it anyways. I hope she's not reading this. I'm bound to get a text message after if she is.....love ya mom! :-)

When we reach our  twenties, there is a sense of freedom we feel. Yeah, we're broke and not living at home anymore. But now the difference is there is no one putting bars over our windows and locking us in our rooms anymore. That's right! We can do anything we want. The defiance there is how we can't figure out why relationships are not working. Its because we are young. We would break up with someone one day, and the next we would be connecting with another because they are "perfect" and "what I have been waiting for all my life." Those two dream words are what made us defiant  in this part of our evolution. And to add to it, we were blind to the certain circumstances that arise from jumping in again head first. Its always in the name of love right?

Our 30's is where those if us who have learned how to evolve actually find stability in this stage of life. This is where they find balance between their professional lives and their dating lives. Those of us that don't are left in the dust and forced to continue on trying to figure out why we can't find what we want even though we are dating lots. Kudos to the stable ones....I feel the pain for the rest of us.

Which now brings me to the next stage of defiance. Thanks to the stable ones, the pickings are now slim. Most of the good ones are now taken. Those of us in our 40's and still dating feel a sense of hopelessness. But here is where we are going wrong. And really, its one of the simplest things that if we realized it in our 20's, this stupid subliminal defiance would never be an issue. Defiance you say? Yes. Defiance. Here's my point. Sometimes, we just carry aounnd that idea of what we think would make a perfect mate. What they will look like, smell like. We get defiant because we are using those ideas that now blind us to what we have evolved into. Take me for instance. I was on a dating site for over 2 years before I left the site to take a break. Now I know I am not a homely male, right? But here is where holding out for someone that balances the "current" us really should be the path we should take.

The last time I was in the position where I was looking for someone, I was just a corporate guy. I was at odds with myself because life was stagnant and also I had just got out of a bad relationship 4 months before. Damn rights it was time...right?  It took me 3 weeks to find a nice girl. We liked each other a lot but we never went out and did anything. Our fling only lasted 2 months. I wondered why, at the time, but only realized now that she was actually in the same boat as I was. We both just broke up with someone. After her I met someone pretty quick and ended up dating this new girl for 3 1/2 years. We did stuff together but we were quite different in a lot of ways. We rushed things in the beginning which didn't help us in the end.

Now here I am, 3 years later after ground zero of my break up, and I'm still single. But here is what the difference is now. I realize that I have changed, and not just a little. Over the last three years, I became an actor, writer, stand up comedian. Any girl in my life needs to embrace that with me. I am a creative person and I need someone to be open to that. This time around I have been true to who I have become. Yeah, so what if I met a lady that advised me she just came off a 3 month crack binge and that as long as she stays off the pipe she is fine. Or the lady I met who told me she likes to hang out at the local pub with her mom, get drunk and wait for the Friday meat draw. Those girls most certainly wouldn't be what I would call my type of "dating" material. Good for me! No settling!

What I am really getting at is this. Stay true to yourselves. Always hold out for the person makes you happy and balances that happy. If you are in a position where you have someone in your life and you are still doing all the things that make you happy (within the scope of local law of course) then you are definitely living life. That is what the goal is now.

Have a great week!

G.

SEX......come read my blog....

Hey everyone! After a bit of a break it was brought to my attention from a post on one of my blogs that I have a blog.....thanks Miss Money Penny! :-)

Well...I know. What do I have to say for myself. Well, all is well in my world. I think the last time I blogged I was just finishing writing the first draft of a story I had. Well, I am happy to announce that I am now finished the second draft and that I have some interested parties that may want to shoot this thing. The feedback alone motivated me to start writing the sequel and the backstory that will lead to a third story in this series. Wow you say? I know I did! This thought process then got me thinking. Why is it that I needed someone to go nuts over my story to get motivated enough think beyond one installment?

Well, I think it all starts with our nature as humans and that undying need for validation. I mean, its not impossible to motivate yourself to do wonderful things. But still, motivation like that still has to be inspired. The prime example of that kind of motivation was displayed by a man known to Canadians as a hero. Terry Fox.  If you don't know who this man was, please use Google now. I truly feel that his picture should be underneath the words motivation, inspiration, and perseverance. There are many inspirational stories out there. Take the subject of the Will Smith movie "The Pursuit of Happiness." The story about how Christopher Gardiner persevered through extremely adverse situations humbles me. I too was a single dad that had to persevere through adverse situations. I had a child that had an eating disorder early in his life. I didn't have a car so we walked and took buses everywhere. I even rode a mountain bike with a child seat on it just to get around. I got moved around by a landlord three times in a month because he couldn't provide the necessities of a safe place to live for my son and I. He even placed us in an abandoned Jewish funeral home that had no hot water. I could tell you how I had to boil water on the stove just so we could have a hot bath. The one thing that inspired me through that whole rough time was my son. He stuck with me even when I hit a low. He was just happy to be around his daddy. I had to be a source of strength for him but he actually became my inspiration (I'm writing this with a tear in my eye). I did this all while maintaining a full time job. I even had my bike stolen along with my lunch all on the same day. It was a very hard time indeed. But guess what? I was inspired and motivated to make life work.

As the years went on, I always made it a point to make sure we progressed to something better each year. We had a few bumps and potholes in our journey, but we had one thing that always kept us motivated. It was our own inspired journey, like all other human beings on this planet, in the pursuit of happiness. I am here to tell you all that you should always motivate yourself with what inspires you. That's what drives me in my creative process. I love the excitement my stories bring to those who get to read them. My friends are my guinea pigs....but their excitement motivates me to create my stories. Their relentless pestering for me to give them more inspires me to finish these stories.

I have to go for now folks. I have a bowling tournament to play in today....and to win is what is motivating me at this moment. Please take the time to be inspired and to strive to push yourself to do things that make you and those around you happy.

Cheers everyone! And always remember, Life Happens.....wear a helmet! See you next week!

G.