I want to extend a warm thanks to my friend Red Bird and her co-blogger Sparrow. Your journey has been a great read. They are retiring from their blog and I totally recommend you view their stories for they are a must read. Their blog goes under the title "Am I lost."
Now that we are on the topic of Red Bird, I have to say that a lot can be said about this dear person I call a friend. She is such a supportive person and cheers me on in all of the many things I do. She encouraged me to write this blog so to say that she knows the type of person I am is a total understatement. This blog has been a great outlet.
Red Bird and I had an unintentional absence from each other's lives that lasted for over 20 years. But when we visited each other last fall the feeling of our friendship allowed us to deduce that nothing had changed on how we viewed each other. A few days ago I was thinking about my visit with Red Bird and I started thinking about some of my other friends that I haven't visited with for awhile, and figured it would be worth it just to see what they might be up to now. So I went and stopped by a friend's business just to say hello. And boy, was that ever an eye opener.
This friend of mine is one of those people that have had everything handed to them since they were young. His parents were successful business people and naturally got him working in their very successful family business. It was about 16 years ago when I first started hanging out with this person. Back then he was a drunk, a philanderer, and took every chance he got to ridicule his friends just based on the fact he was wealthy. And why would he do that? He had everything. He had money, a career, a fast car, lots of women....everything came pretty easy to him. That being said, he was also a cancer survivor and I really wanted to make a point to stop by and see how he was doing.
So I went and visited this person. The only things he could talk about was how much beer he could still drink and all the sexy women he had been with. When I started to share all the awesome things that were happening in my life, he started to laugh at me and in front of everyone that was in there. He started to ridicule me to the customer he was servicing, and put me on the spot by trying to get me to do my stand up comedy routine knowing that some of my jokes are not really workplace appropriate and that I would probably refuse. There is a time and a place for everything. He laughed at me some more and made some more jokes....it was really quite pathetic. But his reaction to me pointed out something that really brought everything into perspective. He wasn't listening to what I was saying. This was evident when I told him that I had a movie coming out this fall but he reacted to what I said by yelling out loud "Awesome man! Now that you have all that money you can go buy a few rounds of beer for everyone here!" When he made that comment, it really confused me. I never told him I was rich or making tons of money. I only told him that I was busy writing, acting and had a film coming out. I was telling him how much fun life was now and he was telling his customer that my ex wife had left me because I was lame. This was 13 years ago and really had nothing to do with what was happening now. He never really told his customer that I was a single parent for 12 years and that the first three years of my son's life was spent dealing with an eating disorder. I was really shocked to get that kind of reaction from him. I never did anything to even warrant that kind of treatment. There was no really easy way out this situation with a few sets of eyes watching for what I was going to do next. I knew that his intent was meant to show everyone in his business how awful of a person I was. I didn't react to his words. I said to myself, "Glenn, do you really think that you should tell him that the only reason why you never stopped by all these years was because he was such an a&$^#@e back in the day? And on top of that he had not even changed his immature attitude, not even one bit, after all these years!" I'm really not like that but in the end I did get to say something to him as a intended reaction to his behavior. To find out what I said please read on as my response to him will be revealed at the end of this post.
I walked out to my car mad and grumbling. I saw the same insecure idiotic behavior that he had portrayed all those years ago. That is when it dawned at me. He had to demean me to others just to make himself look adequate. He saw that I was doing what I enjoyed to do and that I was reaching out to the world and embracing life. In comparison to my life he hadn't done a thing that made his life fulfilling. He still worked at his parent's business being the same guy he had always been while doing the same thing he had always done, all the while having the same dismal disposition he had always had. He was simply in a long term life rut and really looked quite happy being there. Poor him I suppose.
After I thought about the whole situation, I started to have feelings of negativity. I had to force myself to start thinking positively about this situation and see the silver lining. What came to me suddenly was the other side of this equation and I vowed to not stoop to his level. Honestly, this post should really be a tale of many friendships because I have so many people that cheer me on and are excited about all the different things I do....I don't have enough time to even scratch the surface on that topic. When I think about my really close friendships, I always think of the honesty and trust I share in these connections. Even if there is a long time between visits nothing compromises these fundamentals. If I don't see Red Bird for 5 years she might tell me to not make it such a long time between visits, but she will still love her awesome friend Glenn. I never have to wonder. My integrity speaks for itself. We should not be measured by the possessions we have or the accolades we acquire. We should enrich each other's lives by always doing what is right and what is honest Good people do good things.
Life perspective is everything when it comes to the type of friendships that you keep and the environments that you find yourself in. I know about what perspective does. It allows you to see both side of the fence....if you are negative it will be dark and murky. If it is positive it will be bright and happy. I see how perspective challenges me and shows me where I should be. Its a litmus test that I use to gauge on whether or not I am doing the right thing and keeping the right people in my life. These days the negative people and situations that involved them are a distant image in my mind. These days I know that I truly have great friends....I have two awesome careers.....and my creativity allows me to set goals for myself for the first time in my life. All I can say is that life is great and that it can only get better.
When I left my so called friend's shop, I replied to his comment by saying "Not likely."
Have a great week!
G.
