Ok. So I guess you didn't listen and now you are reading this blog. And if you aren't...well you are. That's so schizophrenic of you.
Its funny how on a daily basis, we don't follow the status quo. We started defying our parents, some of us spent a good majority of our childhood grounded. Right? As we get older, we still have these traits. They are just more refined. Take the dating game for instance. That's one of the best examples I can bring forward. The "Love Game" is something that not only effects our lives, but our lives effect it as well. When it evolves we have no &*@!ing idea on why we are failing. We aren't failing though. We need to adjust. Synch it up.
At the beginning of our dating lives, defiance is what drives conflicts with our parents. My teenage years were no exception. I had many battles with my mom during those years. "But I love her mom!" That phrase was iterated with each new love interest. And when she would say no to it, I would sneak out and do it anyways. I hope she's not reading this. I'm bound to get a text message after if she is.....love ya mom! :-)
When we reach our twenties, there is a sense of freedom we feel. Yeah, we're broke and not living at home anymore. But now the difference is there is no one putting bars over our windows and locking us in our rooms anymore. That's right! We can do anything we want. The defiance there is how we can't figure out why relationships are not working. Its because we are young. We would break up with someone one day, and the next we would be connecting with another because they are "perfect" and "what I have been waiting for all my life." Those two dream words are what made us defiant in this part of our evolution. And to add to it, we were blind to the certain circumstances that arise from jumping in again head first. Its always in the name of love right?
Our 30's is where those if us who have learned how to evolve actually find stability in this stage of life. This is where they find balance between their professional lives and their dating lives. Those of us that don't are left in the dust and forced to continue on trying to figure out why we can't find what we want even though we are dating lots. Kudos to the stable ones....I feel the pain for the rest of us.
Which now brings me to the next stage of defiance. Thanks to the stable ones, the pickings are now slim. Most of the good ones are now taken. Those of us in our 40's and still dating feel a sense of hopelessness. But here is where we are going wrong. And really, its one of the simplest things that if we realized it in our 20's, this stupid subliminal defiance would never be an issue. Defiance you say? Yes. Defiance. Here's my point. Sometimes, we just carry aounnd that idea of what we think would make a perfect mate. What they will look like, smell like. We get defiant because we are using those ideas that now blind us to what we have evolved into. Take me for instance. I was on a dating site for over 2 years before I left the site to take a break. Now I know I am not a homely male, right? But here is where holding out for someone that balances the "current" us really should be the path we should take.
The last time I was in the position where I was looking for someone, I was just a corporate guy. I was at odds with myself because life was stagnant and also I had just got out of a bad relationship 4 months before. Damn rights it was time...right? It took me 3 weeks to find a nice girl. We liked each other a lot but we never went out and did anything. Our fling only lasted 2 months. I wondered why, at the time, but only realized now that she was actually in the same boat as I was. We both just broke up with someone. After her I met someone pretty quick and ended up dating this new girl for 3 1/2 years. We did stuff together but we were quite different in a lot of ways. We rushed things in the beginning which didn't help us in the end.
Now here I am, 3 years later after ground zero of my break up, and I'm still single. But here is what the difference is now. I realize that I have changed, and not just a little. Over the last three years, I became an actor, writer, stand up comedian. Any girl in my life needs to embrace that with me. I am a creative person and I need someone to be open to that. This time around I have been true to who I have become. Yeah, so what if I met a lady that advised me she just came off a 3 month crack binge and that as long as she stays off the pipe she is fine. Or the lady I met who told me she likes to hang out at the local pub with her mom, get drunk and wait for the Friday meat draw. Those girls most certainly wouldn't be what I would call my type of "dating" material. Good for me! No settling!
What I am really getting at is this. Stay true to yourselves. Always hold out for the person makes you happy and balances that happy. If you are in a position where you have someone in your life and you are still doing all the things that make you happy (within the scope of local law of course) then you are definitely living life. That is what the goal is now.
Have a great week!
G.
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