Greetings everyone! I hope you are reading this post with a smile in your heart.
Life is funny. We all have hopes and dreams. Goals and aspirations. We grow up wanting to be doctors, lawyers, astronauts. We dream about it. Sometimes we eat and sleep these aspirations. But as humans are programmed to be this way, it seems that we almost always tend to overlook the one thing that controls our destiny.....Fate. Some people believe in Fate exclusively. They think it controls everything. My take on it is that fate feeds off of the energy we send out. If you are in a dark place emotionally, negative things get thrown our way. If we are in a good place great things come our way...or so it seems. That's where the pendulum wreaks havoc and sometimes throws fate a curve ball.
There are a lot of things we have yet to understand about our existence. Centuries ago, we used to think that everything revolved around the Earth and that it was flat and that we would fall off the edge if we went too far. We now know that is not science fact. We now know our universe is a vast expanse populated with a whole bunch of questions marks. We are just starting to learn our potential and how it pertains to this universe as a whole. Its very mind boggling to think of how complex our reality is. I really feel our life is controlled by three elements. 1) The energy we put out, 2) Fate, 3) The "Life Pendulum.
I think, for the most part, that most people know about how the power of attraction uses the energy we pipe out into the world to determine what gets thrown back. I can attest to that. I practice daily on how to turn my negative situations into ones that I direct into positive outcomes. I never swear at that @&%!ing "you-know-who" that just cut me off on the road. The Fate element deals primarily on how, through a series of events, we meet people or how certain situations manifest themselves in our life. Its the life pendulum that is the element that is often over looked. It has two parts: The negative backswing and the Positive upswing.
When I look back over the years I can see how my life has taken turns for the worse as well as the good. I ignored these cycles swings. Because we are a "fast food" society where everything seems to be better when its faster, we tend to get impatient when the "life pendulum" doesn't keep up. My life experience and how I have lived it is a prime example. The fact is it will never keep up with what society wants. Its controlled by fate and by the energy we send out. My pendulum swings very slowly and I am very thankful for that because it makes me the person I am today. We need to accept the negative backswings as a means to learn who we are and what we are capable of. We all have the ability to make things right in our world through perseverance and the drive to make things better. But because the pendulum moves slowly, we tend to ignore it and focus on the bad things that happen to us. I was in that frame of mind for most of my life until I finally figured out that in the order for me to have a positive life I had to change my frame of mind as well recognize that patience was needed to deal with the pendulum.
I can totally see when my life started its upswing. It was in 2000. My grandma had just passed away, my wife had left me and had taken my son with her the next day. Seems pretty negative. My son also had an eating disorder that we were dealing with.....and I also didn't have a car. Sounds like a country song waiting to happen doesn't it? We walked or took the bus everywhere. I had a landlord that moved us around 3 times in one month. It was a very hard time indeed. But something was different when I look back at those dark times. I didn't see it at the time but deep down inside something was stirring inside of me. It was the drive for a better outcome to my life. I focused on my son's feeding issues. Once positive progress had been made with him, then a car manifested itself into my life which opened the door to better employment. I had a few lapses where my positive outcome goals were overwhelmed with people and situations that had negativity attached to them. I worked through all that and basically started purging people that had been trying to manipulate me through their negative influences. I avoided the negative situations that would sometimes pull me in. My son thrived, my employment opportunities got better, and my life lessons started sticking. Four years ago it all came to a head where I made the decision to start making my life better because I wanted to. I got into acting, which lead to writing...which lead to stand up comedy...which lead to a new car...which lead to....get the picture? The fact is, that when the upswing starts things really start happening. I feel now that my life is full of positive energy that is slowing down the pendulum upswing so that I can savor it...allow it to "catch up" and get me to where I want to be in my life. Currently fate is also acting in a positive way in my life. Now its putting the people I need to help me get to the next level into my life. I am making new and strong friendships. My film contacts are there....my script writing is now being recognized (more announcements about that next week....). Life is awesome for me!
I want to encourage all who read my blog regularly to try and recognize and change all that influences your life in a negative way. Your frame of mind is paramount to bringing in the right elements that make life fulfilling. Once you start forcing that change in mindset, it allows that pendulum to start its upswing. And from there, the sky is the limit....or so it seems!
Have a great week everyone! Cheers!
G.
Saturday, 28 September 2013
Monday, 2 September 2013
Guest Blog: Empowerment: Choosing Happiness
Greetings everyone! I know, I know, this is quite unorthodox. Two posts in three days? There is a good reason for this. This post was written by a very dear friend of mine that is one of the most amazing people I know. Believe me, she says I am brave from all the things I do...but to know my dear friend Red Bird is to know exactly what courage and bravery really means. We met in highschool and became the best of friends instantly. She was the first school friend to ever remember my birthday and she even gave me a present. I still have the book....Stephen King's Eye of the Dragon. Its these little gestures that she is known for that go along with that contagious smile of hers. Other than the fact that she said I had an "apple ass" in school (I still don't get it...its more ass shaped if you assk me) I trust this woman. She really gets life and has a very unique way of explaining it. She references her blog in this post....please read it. Its has been an amazing journey my dear friend has been on and it really brings home the human condition. But enough of the mushy stuff.....I give you my dear friend Red Bird from the blog Am I lost:
Empowerment: Choosing Happiness
Empowerment: Choosing Happiness
I’m a blogger. I blog. It’s what I do.
I’m a talker. I talk. It’s what I do.
Basically, I communicate. It’s what I’m good at, but, with that said, this funny thing has happened lately; while I talk incessantly, and I communicate ad nauseum, I don’t blog anymore. It seems that I have lost the “Je ne sais quoi” that led me to an almost exasperating need to document, to legitimize my every feeling via my laptop keyboard. I have lost my writing Mojo.
So, dear friend, when you asked me to guest blog for you, it took me FOREVER to get around to doing it, didn’t it?! You did, after all, first shoot out the idea months ago. Despite the fact that you wrote a guest piece for my blog ( http://birdieandsparrow.blogspot.ca/2012/11/life-happens-wear-helmet.html ), I still failed to come up with a piece for you in return. Finally, out of shame in response to your most recent request for me to get a move on it(though you termed it more politely!), I pulled out the lap top, fired it up, and did more than just stare at my word processor and then switch to Netflix - I started writing!
Why have I stopped writing? There are several reasons, I suspect: lack of interest, pure laziness and overwork among a few, yes, but, more importantly because…and get ready for this because this might be an odd answer…because I’m HAPPY!
When you take a creative writing class, the first, and perhaps most obvious, lesson you learn is to “write what you know about”. With that in mind, my blog is an outlet for my “knowledge”. As a Mom of an Autistic child, I write about pain, indecision, loss, fear. I write about my struggles, her struggles, and the struggles of my family. Basically, I bounce my thoughts off of my readers in the hopes that what will bounce back will be understanding, empathy and encouragement.
…because I’m HAPPY
When I was younger - a wild and crazy teen and young adult - I thought happy meant laughing, partying, being the centre of attention. As an adult, I thought it was something I should aspire to and strive for, something I should find the meaning of, something everyone, but me, had.
Then, one day recently, I was sitting on the couch, snuggling my puppy, drinking coffee, watching a movie, and it came to me; I’m happy. That one moment in time, snuggling with the puppy left me feeling peaceful and content - like all was “right” in my world. I discovered, in that moment, that happiness is a moment where you’re not striving, when you are content in your skin and in your reality.
How could I be “happy” when nothing had changed in my life? My child was still Autistic and I was still an overtired, overworked single mother trying to make my way in the world without being dependant on people around me. What can be good about those circumstances? What had changed, interestingly, was my bullshit attitude that happiness is an abstract concept, and not my situation. I realized, finally, that happiness is a state of mind. It is not an absence of sadness, as I misguidedly thought, but rather, an acceptance of sadness and hardship and an agreement with yourself to still be grateful for your life, and your blessings.
“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.”
-Lucille Ball
My world, for all its flaws and pain and heartache was going to be alright, I realized, because I’m capable of making it alright and in that moment, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and puppy kisses I understood:” happy” is realizing, and accepting, and feeling gratitude for yourself and all that you can do and be. It’s not laughter or the absence of pain; it’s the beauty of moments that fill you with peace.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
-Carl Jung
I’d discovered peace that day.
This discovery left me so wide open that I felt empowered and, I suspect, because of that revelation, left me capable of handling what was going to come next…a beautiful man who was about to knock me off of my feet and make me feel something I had never felt before: unabashed contentment. In return, in my revelation, I know I can give him the same.
In the end, we need to challenge what we think “happy” means. We need to challenge how we find it, where we find it and what we think it should look like. Most importantly, I think we have to stop looking for it. “Happiness” is not a hunt; it’s not a journey, but a state of being. I’m going to kiss each of my beautiful children, I’m going to smile at my ex-husband and let him off of the hook for being human and I’m going to ask nothing more of my new love than that he be as content, and as giving and honest, with me as I am going to be with him. You Glenn, I’m going to continue to remind on a regular basis that I love you because you figuratively held my hand through some very painful moments, old friend. Together, we shall revel in “happy” and I look forward to being interested in writing for my own blog again someday soon.
I’m a talker. I talk. It’s what I do.
Basically, I communicate. It’s what I’m good at, but, with that said, this funny thing has happened lately; while I talk incessantly, and I communicate ad nauseum, I don’t blog anymore. It seems that I have lost the “Je ne sais quoi” that led me to an almost exasperating need to document, to legitimize my every feeling via my laptop keyboard. I have lost my writing Mojo.
So, dear friend, when you asked me to guest blog for you, it took me FOREVER to get around to doing it, didn’t it?! You did, after all, first shoot out the idea months ago. Despite the fact that you wrote a guest piece for my blog ( http://birdieandsparrow.blogspot.ca/2012/11/life-happens-wear-helmet.html ), I still failed to come up with a piece for you in return. Finally, out of shame in response to your most recent request for me to get a move on it(though you termed it more politely!), I pulled out the lap top, fired it up, and did more than just stare at my word processor and then switch to Netflix - I started writing!
Why have I stopped writing? There are several reasons, I suspect: lack of interest, pure laziness and overwork among a few, yes, but, more importantly because…and get ready for this because this might be an odd answer…because I’m HAPPY!
When you take a creative writing class, the first, and perhaps most obvious, lesson you learn is to “write what you know about”. With that in mind, my blog is an outlet for my “knowledge”. As a Mom of an Autistic child, I write about pain, indecision, loss, fear. I write about my struggles, her struggles, and the struggles of my family. Basically, I bounce my thoughts off of my readers in the hopes that what will bounce back will be understanding, empathy and encouragement.
…because I’m HAPPY
hap·py
/ˈhapē/
Adjective
| |
Synonyms
|
When I was younger - a wild and crazy teen and young adult - I thought happy meant laughing, partying, being the centre of attention. As an adult, I thought it was something I should aspire to and strive for, something I should find the meaning of, something everyone, but me, had.
Then, one day recently, I was sitting on the couch, snuggling my puppy, drinking coffee, watching a movie, and it came to me; I’m happy. That one moment in time, snuggling with the puppy left me feeling peaceful and content - like all was “right” in my world. I discovered, in that moment, that happiness is a moment where you’re not striving, when you are content in your skin and in your reality.
How could I be “happy” when nothing had changed in my life? My child was still Autistic and I was still an overtired, overworked single mother trying to make my way in the world without being dependant on people around me. What can be good about those circumstances? What had changed, interestingly, was my bullshit attitude that happiness is an abstract concept, and not my situation. I realized, finally, that happiness is a state of mind. It is not an absence of sadness, as I misguidedly thought, but rather, an acceptance of sadness and hardship and an agreement with yourself to still be grateful for your life, and your blessings.
“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.”
-Lucille Ball
My world, for all its flaws and pain and heartache was going to be alright, I realized, because I’m capable of making it alright and in that moment, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and puppy kisses I understood:” happy” is realizing, and accepting, and feeling gratitude for yourself and all that you can do and be. It’s not laughter or the absence of pain; it’s the beauty of moments that fill you with peace.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
-Carl Jung
I’d discovered peace that day.
This discovery left me so wide open that I felt empowered and, I suspect, because of that revelation, left me capable of handling what was going to come next…a beautiful man who was about to knock me off of my feet and make me feel something I had never felt before: unabashed contentment. In return, in my revelation, I know I can give him the same.
In the end, we need to challenge what we think “happy” means. We need to challenge how we find it, where we find it and what we think it should look like. Most importantly, I think we have to stop looking for it. “Happiness” is not a hunt; it’s not a journey, but a state of being. I’m going to kiss each of my beautiful children, I’m going to smile at my ex-husband and let him off of the hook for being human and I’m going to ask nothing more of my new love than that he be as content, and as giving and honest, with me as I am going to be with him. You Glenn, I’m going to continue to remind on a regular basis that I love you because you figuratively held my hand through some very painful moments, old friend. Together, we shall revel in “happy” and I look forward to being interested in writing for my own blog again someday soon.
Saturday, 31 August 2013
Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs
Greetings everyone! I hope your weekend is going well! I just finished moving so to say I am very relaxed right now is an understatement. With coffee in hand, I shall begin this week's blog.
We, as humans, all have milestones in our lives that we like to mark. Some of them are happy ones like birthdays and wedding anniversaries, the date we first kissed the love of our life. Even the passing of a loved one is part of that mix because of how it strikes us emotionally. Milestones are what we also gauge our success by. I have had a few of those over the last 4 years since I started this journey but none of those milestones can compare to the date that I went smoke free. It was one 26 years in the making and it saved my life...literally and figuratively. It was the catalyst that really started this whole journey of self discovery and fulfillment.
I started smoking when I was 14 in July of 1984. To say that at 14 that I was a rebellious teen would be an understatement. My parents were separated so the fact that single parent kids have lots of time on their hands and have many chances to make wrong decisions based on acceptance is very well known. Two of my friends showed up at my door one night and invited me to go out for a bike ride. So I did. We went to my summer vacated school yard, took out a pack of smokes and handed me a cigarette. I told them I didn't smoke but they said that they did and that chicks think its cool. So, I put that smoke in my mouth and lit it up. My friends were very quick to show me the proper way to inhale. They knew when I faked it because I would cough til my face went red when I did inhale and when I didn't and just let the smoke out of my mouth they called me on it and told me to take another drag. Can't waste a cigarette. Then came the smoke ring lessons. It took me a total of 2 days to become accustomed to inhaling cigarette smoke. I also lived in a time where not only did cigarettes cost $2 a pack but they would also sell them to almost anybody, including 5 year old kids with a note. Its really funny how the attitude was back then. It was cool to smoke. Little did I realize that at the ripe old age of 14 that I was about to embark on a 26 year love-hate full blown addiction to nicotine and that would change the course of my life in many ways.
At 14 I was very involved in music and drama. I sang since I was 8, played piano, and acted in musicals since I was in grade 6. When I started smoking, it made my voice change more dramatic. I sang tenor up until then. It took a whole summer of smoking to change my voice from tenor to base. I had to be reevaluated in my vocal jazz class because of this shift. It was evident that smoking wasn't a good thing. But how could I not continue? My parents both smoked so why can't I? I not only decided to continue smoking, but I also embarked on a journey of covert sneakiness which included hiding the fact that I smoked just because I was too chicken to test out the theory that I could use the "you smoke why can't I" remark to guilt my parents into letting me smoke. I was also starting something that I couldn't afford. So far three marks against smoking and I was already ignoring the little angel on my shoulder telling me not to. Sigh...
The rest of my life, up until three years ago, involved smoking. I would have one when I woke up, one on my way to work, during my coffee breaks, before and after lunch. I'm sure you get the point. Its phenomenal to think about how many ways this nasty habit gets a hold of us. I am sitting here writing this and I just realized that I only dated smokers throughout my adult life. I mean, who else would tolerate the smell of stale smoke in the house and cars, in your hair and clothes. The coughing and that little #&!*ing wheeze you hear when you were trying to go to sleep. There is nothing positive that comes from smoking.
On August 22nd 2010, my girlfriend at the time decided to quit. I told her I would let her quit first and then I would quit when her nicotine rage subsided. It became apparent very quickly that my expertise on this subject was very limited, even nil at best. The plain fact was that I had attempted to quit many times over the preceding 26 years so what made me an expert on the psychology of nicotine addiction? I was a nicotine addict that was in denial and making an excuse not to quit. Throughout my entire smoking life my smokers mentality would always break me down quickly. Every time I wanted to quit, the nicotine addiction put that statement all smokers make when they embark on another quitting journey. "What if I don't have any?" DUH!!! That's why you quit! This question would always pop in my head when I attempted to quit. Yes, all 180 million times and I would answer it with going to buy a pack. So because I smelled of smoke every time I had one it made my girlfriend angry. So in an attempt to not to turn her into the "Estrogen She Hulk," I decided out of fear for my life, that on August 29th I would not smoke either. I used the nicotine patch and would pop a lozenge every time I would feel the urge to smoke. It worked for me from the start.
As life always throws us curve balls, my life is no different. During my journey to being a non smoker my relationship ended. Now we all know how stressful and emotional we get during a break up. Take into account that I still had that smoker's mentality. Smokers are always the first to blame something like stress as a reason to go buy a pack. For some reason this time it was different for me. I decided to work through the stress and keep on with what I was doing. I learned a lot about my personal perseverance. I regained my stubbornness to see things to the end and worked through my addiction. It was very empowering when one day, while at work, I realized that I forgot to put on a patch that morning and had pretty much gone 4 hours without it. I panicked at first but I then realized I had finally won. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Gone now are the days when I would get up at 3 am and drive to get smokes. Gone were the days of hearing that little wheeze when I was trying to go to sleep. Gone are the days that smoking would control my entire life. I don't know how to put in words how empowered and wonderful I felt.
It was learning about my perseverance and drive to succeed at quitting smoking that made me pursue my acting, writing, stand up comedy, etc. Its the drive to feel alive and excited about life that really makes this accomplishment, or rather milestone, really worthwhile. Its a wonderful feeling to say I'm a non-smoker. I have a new car now, I exercise at a gym 4 times a week. I can now smell the sweet smell of spring. Quitting smoking empowers me to always strive to do more and to never waste time doing things that don't make me happy, healthy, and fulfilled. Quitting smoking saved my life......quitting smoking will save yours too! My milestone is that as of August 29th, I have been a non smoker for 3 years and I am never going back. Sometimes I get a whiff of smoke from a passer by who is smoking. It smells good but I then tell myself that if I take one puff of a cigarette I will go down to day zero and have to start counting again. I'm never going back now and I encourage anyone else who struggles with this to quit as well. Learn about your personal perseverance. Get mad at this addiction for controlling your life and mind. Get mad at how it makes you make excuses to go back to it. Get mad for how it prevents you from being happy and healthy and fulfilled.
Thanks for reading my post! Stay tuned for my next entry which will feature a guest blog post from my dear friend Red Bird. She is a cowriter on the blog Am I lost. I am not sure what she is going to write about, but I am sure its not about how to store fruit cake.
Cheers everyone! Until next time!
G.
We, as humans, all have milestones in our lives that we like to mark. Some of them are happy ones like birthdays and wedding anniversaries, the date we first kissed the love of our life. Even the passing of a loved one is part of that mix because of how it strikes us emotionally. Milestones are what we also gauge our success by. I have had a few of those over the last 4 years since I started this journey but none of those milestones can compare to the date that I went smoke free. It was one 26 years in the making and it saved my life...literally and figuratively. It was the catalyst that really started this whole journey of self discovery and fulfillment.
I started smoking when I was 14 in July of 1984. To say that at 14 that I was a rebellious teen would be an understatement. My parents were separated so the fact that single parent kids have lots of time on their hands and have many chances to make wrong decisions based on acceptance is very well known. Two of my friends showed up at my door one night and invited me to go out for a bike ride. So I did. We went to my summer vacated school yard, took out a pack of smokes and handed me a cigarette. I told them I didn't smoke but they said that they did and that chicks think its cool. So, I put that smoke in my mouth and lit it up. My friends were very quick to show me the proper way to inhale. They knew when I faked it because I would cough til my face went red when I did inhale and when I didn't and just let the smoke out of my mouth they called me on it and told me to take another drag. Can't waste a cigarette. Then came the smoke ring lessons. It took me a total of 2 days to become accustomed to inhaling cigarette smoke. I also lived in a time where not only did cigarettes cost $2 a pack but they would also sell them to almost anybody, including 5 year old kids with a note. Its really funny how the attitude was back then. It was cool to smoke. Little did I realize that at the ripe old age of 14 that I was about to embark on a 26 year love-hate full blown addiction to nicotine and that would change the course of my life in many ways.
At 14 I was very involved in music and drama. I sang since I was 8, played piano, and acted in musicals since I was in grade 6. When I started smoking, it made my voice change more dramatic. I sang tenor up until then. It took a whole summer of smoking to change my voice from tenor to base. I had to be reevaluated in my vocal jazz class because of this shift. It was evident that smoking wasn't a good thing. But how could I not continue? My parents both smoked so why can't I? I not only decided to continue smoking, but I also embarked on a journey of covert sneakiness which included hiding the fact that I smoked just because I was too chicken to test out the theory that I could use the "you smoke why can't I" remark to guilt my parents into letting me smoke. I was also starting something that I couldn't afford. So far three marks against smoking and I was already ignoring the little angel on my shoulder telling me not to. Sigh...
The rest of my life, up until three years ago, involved smoking. I would have one when I woke up, one on my way to work, during my coffee breaks, before and after lunch. I'm sure you get the point. Its phenomenal to think about how many ways this nasty habit gets a hold of us. I am sitting here writing this and I just realized that I only dated smokers throughout my adult life. I mean, who else would tolerate the smell of stale smoke in the house and cars, in your hair and clothes. The coughing and that little #&!*ing wheeze you hear when you were trying to go to sleep. There is nothing positive that comes from smoking.
On August 22nd 2010, my girlfriend at the time decided to quit. I told her I would let her quit first and then I would quit when her nicotine rage subsided. It became apparent very quickly that my expertise on this subject was very limited, even nil at best. The plain fact was that I had attempted to quit many times over the preceding 26 years so what made me an expert on the psychology of nicotine addiction? I was a nicotine addict that was in denial and making an excuse not to quit. Throughout my entire smoking life my smokers mentality would always break me down quickly. Every time I wanted to quit, the nicotine addiction put that statement all smokers make when they embark on another quitting journey. "What if I don't have any?" DUH!!! That's why you quit! This question would always pop in my head when I attempted to quit. Yes, all 180 million times and I would answer it with going to buy a pack. So because I smelled of smoke every time I had one it made my girlfriend angry. So in an attempt to not to turn her into the "Estrogen She Hulk," I decided out of fear for my life, that on August 29th I would not smoke either. I used the nicotine patch and would pop a lozenge every time I would feel the urge to smoke. It worked for me from the start.
As life always throws us curve balls, my life is no different. During my journey to being a non smoker my relationship ended. Now we all know how stressful and emotional we get during a break up. Take into account that I still had that smoker's mentality. Smokers are always the first to blame something like stress as a reason to go buy a pack. For some reason this time it was different for me. I decided to work through the stress and keep on with what I was doing. I learned a lot about my personal perseverance. I regained my stubbornness to see things to the end and worked through my addiction. It was very empowering when one day, while at work, I realized that I forgot to put on a patch that morning and had pretty much gone 4 hours without it. I panicked at first but I then realized I had finally won. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Gone now are the days when I would get up at 3 am and drive to get smokes. Gone were the days of hearing that little wheeze when I was trying to go to sleep. Gone are the days that smoking would control my entire life. I don't know how to put in words how empowered and wonderful I felt.
It was learning about my perseverance and drive to succeed at quitting smoking that made me pursue my acting, writing, stand up comedy, etc. Its the drive to feel alive and excited about life that really makes this accomplishment, or rather milestone, really worthwhile. Its a wonderful feeling to say I'm a non-smoker. I have a new car now, I exercise at a gym 4 times a week. I can now smell the sweet smell of spring. Quitting smoking empowers me to always strive to do more and to never waste time doing things that don't make me happy, healthy, and fulfilled. Quitting smoking saved my life......quitting smoking will save yours too! My milestone is that as of August 29th, I have been a non smoker for 3 years and I am never going back. Sometimes I get a whiff of smoke from a passer by who is smoking. It smells good but I then tell myself that if I take one puff of a cigarette I will go down to day zero and have to start counting again. I'm never going back now and I encourage anyone else who struggles with this to quit as well. Learn about your personal perseverance. Get mad at this addiction for controlling your life and mind. Get mad at how it makes you make excuses to go back to it. Get mad for how it prevents you from being happy and healthy and fulfilled.
Thanks for reading my post! Stay tuned for my next entry which will feature a guest blog post from my dear friend Red Bird. She is a cowriter on the blog Am I lost. I am not sure what she is going to write about, but I am sure its not about how to store fruit cake.
Cheers everyone! Until next time!
G.
Saturday, 24 August 2013
Life in the coffee line and the art of paying it forward
Greetings! As I reach the end of my vacation, I can't help reflect about everything that has transpired over this short period of time in my life. I think about how energized I now feel after going through the 9 days that I just did. And on top of it all, to see myself grow as a person amidst all this....words can't describe how grateful I am to have all the wonderful friends I have. And to think how my Facebook friend list grew as well seeing as how I made a whole pile of new ones.
This has been a busy week for me. I just wrapped shooting a film produced through Mental Health and a program called Healing through humor (www.healingthroughhumour.com/). It was a fun shoot indeed. I think there were lots of new talent discovered and definitely new film connections made. My friend, Lindi Edge, got to showcase her wonderful special effects talents which only served to get me anxious to start the filming of the trailer to my story called Oblivious. She's also my special effects guru so I definitely look forward to working with her on this project.
I also bumped into the writer Rick Anthony. He was the author who wrote the script for my upcoming feature movie Bread Thieves. He was very excited about what direction the movie has taken in the post production process. We are looking at the movie finally being completed in 8 weeks. Please have a look at our website and trailer at http://www.breadthievesthemovie.com And please share it with your friends! And yes, even though I do play a meth addict in this movie I want to clarify that I do clean up well. Stay tuned for more details as they unfold.
Its really funny that life has a way of throwing in little litmus tests for us to gauge our moral compass. It could range from things like opening the door for an old lady, helping an old lady with her grocery bags, or even helping an old lady across the street. But sometimes that proverbial old lady does something for you which then tests your ability to show your thanks....and not just with a Werther's Original.
Anyone from Canada knows how stressful it can be to stand in a Tim Horton's coffee line. Most of the bitterness comes from having the new people who newly join the line not follow the unwritten rules of the line...such as not allowing a group of your friends to join your place line thus making me wait for my coffee longer just because so and so doesn't know what the $&*# he/she wants......breath Glenn...breath. I won't even go over what people do when someone cuts into the drive thru line. How can that even happen Glenn you ask? It does...they slowly drive into the parking lot and then turn into the line. And then to have that person look at you and just shrug their shoulders at you knowing full right that they knew you were waiting there in your Sonic Blue 2012 Ford Focus hatch back... I'd rather go into the &#*@ing store!! Breathe Glenn breathe.....I think you get what I'm talking about right? I mean come on! Anger issues aside, the most stressful place in Canada is the Tim Horton's coffee line. Well, that was until I experienced something that totally changed my perspective on what the Tim Horton's coffee line was all about.
And so I shall explain. I was in my local WalMart buying some sustenance products and had walked over to the Tim Horton's in this particular WalMart with 5 bags of groceries in hand. While standing in line, I turned to the old ladies that were standing behind me and made a joke that caused them to laugh little. I typically engage random strangers in stores but making jokes. Just smile and nod...its just my nature. All of a sudden one of the old ladies says to me "You need a cart for all those bags," and then ran across to a cart that was just sitting there about 20 feet away. As she ran to the cart I looked at the people standing in line behind us and I just smiled. The lady came back with this cart and said here, put your bags in their. Because of the effort she made to get the cart, I placed my bags into the car and looked at her and said "You know, seeing as how you made all that effort to make me comfortable please take my spot in line." It was only one spot in the line...but it would make her "next" before me. This is very important seeing as how being "next" is my favorite part of the line. After that its pretty much downhill and anti climatic. So, at first the lady said no. I insisted so she gracefully traded places with me. When I later thought about how much that made me smile, a real sense of joy washed over me. Not only had she made my day, but I made hers as well. It was a very neat moment.
The moral compass lesson learned from all this is that we should always strive to touch people's lives in a positive way. Doing things like random acts of kindness, or even common sense stuff like honesty can go a long way to ensuring positive energy flows in your life and also in the lives of those around you. Never be bitter and always see the value that true and honest friendships can bring to your life.
Have a great week!
G.
This has been a busy week for me. I just wrapped shooting a film produced through Mental Health and a program called Healing through humor (www.healingthroughhumour.com/). It was a fun shoot indeed. I think there were lots of new talent discovered and definitely new film connections made. My friend, Lindi Edge, got to showcase her wonderful special effects talents which only served to get me anxious to start the filming of the trailer to my story called Oblivious. She's also my special effects guru so I definitely look forward to working with her on this project.
I also bumped into the writer Rick Anthony. He was the author who wrote the script for my upcoming feature movie Bread Thieves. He was very excited about what direction the movie has taken in the post production process. We are looking at the movie finally being completed in 8 weeks. Please have a look at our website and trailer at http://www.breadthievesthemovie.com And please share it with your friends! And yes, even though I do play a meth addict in this movie I want to clarify that I do clean up well. Stay tuned for more details as they unfold.
Its really funny that life has a way of throwing in little litmus tests for us to gauge our moral compass. It could range from things like opening the door for an old lady, helping an old lady with her grocery bags, or even helping an old lady across the street. But sometimes that proverbial old lady does something for you which then tests your ability to show your thanks....and not just with a Werther's Original.
Anyone from Canada knows how stressful it can be to stand in a Tim Horton's coffee line. Most of the bitterness comes from having the new people who newly join the line not follow the unwritten rules of the line...such as not allowing a group of your friends to join your place line thus making me wait for my coffee longer just because so and so doesn't know what the $&*# he/she wants......breath Glenn...breath. I won't even go over what people do when someone cuts into the drive thru line. How can that even happen Glenn you ask? It does...they slowly drive into the parking lot and then turn into the line. And then to have that person look at you and just shrug their shoulders at you knowing full right that they knew you were waiting there in your Sonic Blue 2012 Ford Focus hatch back... I'd rather go into the &#*@ing store!! Breathe Glenn breathe.....I think you get what I'm talking about right? I mean come on! Anger issues aside, the most stressful place in Canada is the Tim Horton's coffee line. Well, that was until I experienced something that totally changed my perspective on what the Tim Horton's coffee line was all about.
And so I shall explain. I was in my local WalMart buying some sustenance products and had walked over to the Tim Horton's in this particular WalMart with 5 bags of groceries in hand. While standing in line, I turned to the old ladies that were standing behind me and made a joke that caused them to laugh little. I typically engage random strangers in stores but making jokes. Just smile and nod...its just my nature. All of a sudden one of the old ladies says to me "You need a cart for all those bags," and then ran across to a cart that was just sitting there about 20 feet away. As she ran to the cart I looked at the people standing in line behind us and I just smiled. The lady came back with this cart and said here, put your bags in their. Because of the effort she made to get the cart, I placed my bags into the car and looked at her and said "You know, seeing as how you made all that effort to make me comfortable please take my spot in line." It was only one spot in the line...but it would make her "next" before me. This is very important seeing as how being "next" is my favorite part of the line. After that its pretty much downhill and anti climatic. So, at first the lady said no. I insisted so she gracefully traded places with me. When I later thought about how much that made me smile, a real sense of joy washed over me. Not only had she made my day, but I made hers as well. It was a very neat moment.
The moral compass lesson learned from all this is that we should always strive to touch people's lives in a positive way. Doing things like random acts of kindness, or even common sense stuff like honesty can go a long way to ensuring positive energy flows in your life and also in the lives of those around you. Never be bitter and always see the value that true and honest friendships can bring to your life.
Have a great week!
G.
Saturday, 17 August 2013
A tale of two friendships: Part deux
Greetings everyone! I am on vacation today so took my show on the road. I am writing this blog whilst preparing to officiate a ceremony where a very good and longtime friend of mine shall renew his vows with his fabulous and totally devoted wife. There is a catch to this however.....he has no idea I am going to be here today. I am in Edmonton and hiding out with Kat, her husband Ibby and their 3 wonderful kids. One comment about this family.....we should all aspire to feel and share the same love they give each other.
My friend Dennis and I were in the navy together back in the late 80's early 90's. And I can't go on with this part of the blog without mentioning my other buddy Ron. This completes the 3 Amigos. Ron also lives in Edmonton but unfortunately could not attend. All three of us misfits had a close bond. Not just because we were soldiers. We pretty much got into trouble together during our time on the coast. Hey, we were young and stupid and that's the only excuse I am going to provide without the presence of a lawyer. Just kidding of course.
The horse incident of 1990 aside (don't ask) I am here at the request of my friend's wife Val. She approached me a few months ago and asked if I wouldn't mind coming down for this day and surprising Dennis. I said yes right away. She kept me in the loop right down to when she asked him to renew their vows on the top of a mountain with a candy ring...I heard everything. Then he messages me and said it would be an honor if I came down to watch them do this. I snickered and told him that unfortunately I couldn't because I was filming a movie. That was partially true actually but I asked to have my scenes shot around these dates. I guess I selectively "forgot" to tell him this. Oh well, what can I say? Then yesterday, I sent his wife a text message telling her to tell him that I am sorry I wasn't able to attend and that I was wishing them the best....yup! Another part of the veil of secrecy.
So right now, as I sit and write this blog post, Dennis is outside, taking it all in....happy that everyone could attend....the knowing that the eating of burgers was just around the corner.....and I know he is wondering about the football game currently playing out in Regina. I'm in the basement waiting for the big reveal! What a sucker!! :)
The reason why I like doing things like this for a friend is because of the life long friendship I have with my two friends Dennis and Ron. I got out of the military before these two did and we didn't see each other for 20 years. But when we had a reunion a few years back (another surprise for my buddies) it was like we just picked up where we left off...except our bellies were bigger. The fact is, I had no issues coming to visit over a long distance because the friendships I created with these two guys were positive. The memories I had with there were full of laughter, funny situations and drunken escapades only young men go on....well, the ones where you have a falling out with your buds where you decided that walking back to base was the right thing to do and that will show me.....right? Most of all we were all equals. No one was better than the other. That's the way it is with all my true friendships. True and positive friends will never sarcastically say things like "see you in 20 years." Unlike the so called friend I talked about in a previous post who had used the "see you in 5 years" comment to make me feel bad, my true and positive friends actually say "See you next time." They would also say, lets not make it another 20 years.
I sometimes regret not visiting often with all these wonderful people that have touched my life. But I truly know that they all care about me. They know I am a stand up guy. They know I would never do anything to turn their worlds upside down. They treat me like family and are always excited to see me no matter how much time has elapsed since our last visit. They are the ones that cheer me on with my acting and writing endeavors. They are fans of me....and I am fans of them. If I could sum it up I would tell them all that admiration is a two way street.
Stay tuned everyone! More exciting announcements on the horizon. I gotta run as I am just about ready to join my friends for a celebration! Happy 15th anniversary Dennis and Val! Your devotion to each other should serve as something we should always aspire to in our own.
Cheers!
G.
My friend Dennis and I were in the navy together back in the late 80's early 90's. And I can't go on with this part of the blog without mentioning my other buddy Ron. This completes the 3 Amigos. Ron also lives in Edmonton but unfortunately could not attend. All three of us misfits had a close bond. Not just because we were soldiers. We pretty much got into trouble together during our time on the coast. Hey, we were young and stupid and that's the only excuse I am going to provide without the presence of a lawyer. Just kidding of course.
The horse incident of 1990 aside (don't ask) I am here at the request of my friend's wife Val. She approached me a few months ago and asked if I wouldn't mind coming down for this day and surprising Dennis. I said yes right away. She kept me in the loop right down to when she asked him to renew their vows on the top of a mountain with a candy ring...I heard everything. Then he messages me and said it would be an honor if I came down to watch them do this. I snickered and told him that unfortunately I couldn't because I was filming a movie. That was partially true actually but I asked to have my scenes shot around these dates. I guess I selectively "forgot" to tell him this. Oh well, what can I say? Then yesterday, I sent his wife a text message telling her to tell him that I am sorry I wasn't able to attend and that I was wishing them the best....yup! Another part of the veil of secrecy.
So right now, as I sit and write this blog post, Dennis is outside, taking it all in....happy that everyone could attend....the knowing that the eating of burgers was just around the corner.....and I know he is wondering about the football game currently playing out in Regina. I'm in the basement waiting for the big reveal! What a sucker!! :)
The reason why I like doing things like this for a friend is because of the life long friendship I have with my two friends Dennis and Ron. I got out of the military before these two did and we didn't see each other for 20 years. But when we had a reunion a few years back (another surprise for my buddies) it was like we just picked up where we left off...except our bellies were bigger. The fact is, I had no issues coming to visit over a long distance because the friendships I created with these two guys were positive. The memories I had with there were full of laughter, funny situations and drunken escapades only young men go on....well, the ones where you have a falling out with your buds where you decided that walking back to base was the right thing to do and that will show me.....right? Most of all we were all equals. No one was better than the other. That's the way it is with all my true friendships. True and positive friends will never sarcastically say things like "see you in 20 years." Unlike the so called friend I talked about in a previous post who had used the "see you in 5 years" comment to make me feel bad, my true and positive friends actually say "See you next time." They would also say, lets not make it another 20 years.
I sometimes regret not visiting often with all these wonderful people that have touched my life. But I truly know that they all care about me. They know I am a stand up guy. They know I would never do anything to turn their worlds upside down. They treat me like family and are always excited to see me no matter how much time has elapsed since our last visit. They are the ones that cheer me on with my acting and writing endeavors. They are fans of me....and I am fans of them. If I could sum it up I would tell them all that admiration is a two way street.
Stay tuned everyone! More exciting announcements on the horizon. I gotta run as I am just about ready to join my friends for a celebration! Happy 15th anniversary Dennis and Val! Your devotion to each other should serve as something we should always aspire to in our own.
Cheers!
G.
Sunday, 4 August 2013
Singularity: The ups and downs of dating in your 40's....
First off, I would like to announce a milestone in my blog history....over 1100 hits! My last posting was my most popular. The cool thing is that "Life happens...wear a helmet" has also been read in over 10 countries. I thank everyone who has gotten something out of what I have written. It if touches you please share it with others.
So I am 43 and have been single for over 3 1/2 years (feeling like eons). Now I would be lying if I said it was all by choice. There have been times where settling would have been the easy choice. Its not because I am desperate but rather more from a human desire to connect and be affectionate with another human being on a more personal level. I would actually find myself contemplating setting. It is human nature to show affection to someone we are attracted and connected to. Cuddling on the couch, cooking dinner, walking at the fair hand in hand, arguing at the grocery store. I could go on an on but eventually I really need to go work out today. Settling really wasn't an option because at the end of the day, I like what I like. Pure and simple
I really do miss mutual affection b what evolution didn't take into account is that one day humans would invent the internet and eventually dating websites would be created where inferior and tortured personalities could create a persona for themselves where they could hide their true intentions. Now we have a more anonymous way to select a mate. Gone are the days where random fate would bring someone into your life and you would be interested and not interested based on chemistry. In this day and age, hunting for that special person is filtered by height, race, body type (yes this is a category), hair color, and geography. You get the picture? Gone are the days of actually randomly meeting someone and having the attraction and whatnot be the decider. Nowadays, we let these filters and the messaging back and forth decide if we meet someone in person. It definitely goes against the grain of human nature. Just like sitting at a computer desk and typing messages. Case in point right? So if humans were designed to be something other than internet web stalkers, why are we on the internet being web stalkers?
Now when you are in your 20's and 30's its a lot easier to use that random fate meet thing. As a matter of fact I am very surprised to see anyone 25 years old and on a dating website. Well, unless they were conjoined twins, but that's a whole other story. What I am saying that the younger crowds have bars and concerts and more options. Lets say I were to go to the dance bars to find someone. Just by being a man in my 40's and in a dance bar brings creepy to a whole new level. That's not my intention. I really don't find myself that creepy. I am really nice and I really do try to make sure I don't leave a wake of burned bridges. But now the curve ball is I am a man in my 40's and I am forced to wait in this very long line up of web stalker dating where the ratio of men to woman on these sites are 10 men to every woman. And the sad part is I have met some duds during this process. I had one woman tell me at a "meet up" that she felt very comfortable and felt she could be honest with me. She went on to tell me about how two weeks prior to our meeting she had ended a 4 month long crack binge and that as long as she stayed away from the pipe she would be fine. Now when we first met I knew the chemistry wasn't there. I like what I like. But now armed with the new information I almost felt compelled to place a restraining order against this person. Another woman I met wanted me to meet her at the local bar she went to everyday. Now alarm bells should have been ringing but I went with it. I mean, did this mean she worked in a bar or did she even have a job? I walked into the bar and met her. She was totally drunk on beer with her mom who was also totally drunk on beer. They needed a ride home but had to wait until the meat draw was made and then we could go. I drove them home and didn't spend more than 20 minutes there. Don't get me started on her living situation. Needless to say I shook my head a lot that night and almost like I had to fake an "OMG! My probation officer is going call soon!" I backed out of using that one when I realized she might say "Oh cool! Whats his name? I might know him!"
On top of having a shallow pool to choose from, I have a new part of my life that I never had before that would definitely effect a relationship. I am now an artist. Acting, writing, and stand up. Besides the astronomy hobby and the competitive 10 pin bowling thing, that's what I do. Imagine putting all that stuff up on my dating website profile? It would definitely has the potential of making me look like an embellisher. If they met me in person they would see I do in fact do all that stuff. So now my life has added yet another filter. Now its going to be up to that special girl who will take that chance and want to see for herself. She will see that I am not a crack addicted transvestite that wants to marry his grandmother in a satanic cult ceremony (sorry if you are one). What I am trying to say is that even though this wonderful invention called the internet exists, I really feel at odds with this internet dating thing. I feel like I should be out there in this world doing what makes me happy and meeting new people instead of waiting for that #*&%ing message of interest pop up on that dating site I am on. You know, I just might go out and do that. Right after I finish my blog, check my email, and review my Facebook news feed. Oh! Just got a text!
Before I go I have an update to share with you in regards to a film I acted in last fall called Bread Thieves. I got asked to film an extra scene the other day so I went and once again donned my character's persona and had a blast filming. I am happy to say that the movie is now complete and will be going through its final stages of post production. I saw some of the actor's cut, namely the scenes I appeared in of course, and have to say that its looking incredible! I am very proud of it and can't wait to share it with the world. Two more months and it will be ready. If you haven't seen the trailer feel free to view it on our website at www.breadthievesthemovie.com.
Cheers everyone and have an outstanding week!!
G.
So I am 43 and have been single for over 3 1/2 years (feeling like eons). Now I would be lying if I said it was all by choice. There have been times where settling would have been the easy choice. Its not because I am desperate but rather more from a human desire to connect and be affectionate with another human being on a more personal level. I would actually find myself contemplating setting. It is human nature to show affection to someone we are attracted and connected to. Cuddling on the couch, cooking dinner, walking at the fair hand in hand, arguing at the grocery store. I could go on an on but eventually I really need to go work out today. Settling really wasn't an option because at the end of the day, I like what I like. Pure and simple
I really do miss mutual affection b what evolution didn't take into account is that one day humans would invent the internet and eventually dating websites would be created where inferior and tortured personalities could create a persona for themselves where they could hide their true intentions. Now we have a more anonymous way to select a mate. Gone are the days where random fate would bring someone into your life and you would be interested and not interested based on chemistry. In this day and age, hunting for that special person is filtered by height, race, body type (yes this is a category), hair color, and geography. You get the picture? Gone are the days of actually randomly meeting someone and having the attraction and whatnot be the decider. Nowadays, we let these filters and the messaging back and forth decide if we meet someone in person. It definitely goes against the grain of human nature. Just like sitting at a computer desk and typing messages. Case in point right? So if humans were designed to be something other than internet web stalkers, why are we on the internet being web stalkers?
Now when you are in your 20's and 30's its a lot easier to use that random fate meet thing. As a matter of fact I am very surprised to see anyone 25 years old and on a dating website. Well, unless they were conjoined twins, but that's a whole other story. What I am saying that the younger crowds have bars and concerts and more options. Lets say I were to go to the dance bars to find someone. Just by being a man in my 40's and in a dance bar brings creepy to a whole new level. That's not my intention. I really don't find myself that creepy. I am really nice and I really do try to make sure I don't leave a wake of burned bridges. But now the curve ball is I am a man in my 40's and I am forced to wait in this very long line up of web stalker dating where the ratio of men to woman on these sites are 10 men to every woman. And the sad part is I have met some duds during this process. I had one woman tell me at a "meet up" that she felt very comfortable and felt she could be honest with me. She went on to tell me about how two weeks prior to our meeting she had ended a 4 month long crack binge and that as long as she stayed away from the pipe she would be fine. Now when we first met I knew the chemistry wasn't there. I like what I like. But now armed with the new information I almost felt compelled to place a restraining order against this person. Another woman I met wanted me to meet her at the local bar she went to everyday. Now alarm bells should have been ringing but I went with it. I mean, did this mean she worked in a bar or did she even have a job? I walked into the bar and met her. She was totally drunk on beer with her mom who was also totally drunk on beer. They needed a ride home but had to wait until the meat draw was made and then we could go. I drove them home and didn't spend more than 20 minutes there. Don't get me started on her living situation. Needless to say I shook my head a lot that night and almost like I had to fake an "OMG! My probation officer is going call soon!" I backed out of using that one when I realized she might say "Oh cool! Whats his name? I might know him!"
On top of having a shallow pool to choose from, I have a new part of my life that I never had before that would definitely effect a relationship. I am now an artist. Acting, writing, and stand up. Besides the astronomy hobby and the competitive 10 pin bowling thing, that's what I do. Imagine putting all that stuff up on my dating website profile? It would definitely has the potential of making me look like an embellisher. If they met me in person they would see I do in fact do all that stuff. So now my life has added yet another filter. Now its going to be up to that special girl who will take that chance and want to see for herself. She will see that I am not a crack addicted transvestite that wants to marry his grandmother in a satanic cult ceremony (sorry if you are one). What I am trying to say is that even though this wonderful invention called the internet exists, I really feel at odds with this internet dating thing. I feel like I should be out there in this world doing what makes me happy and meeting new people instead of waiting for that #*&%ing message of interest pop up on that dating site I am on. You know, I just might go out and do that. Right after I finish my blog, check my email, and review my Facebook news feed. Oh! Just got a text!
Before I go I have an update to share with you in regards to a film I acted in last fall called Bread Thieves. I got asked to film an extra scene the other day so I went and once again donned my character's persona and had a blast filming. I am happy to say that the movie is now complete and will be going through its final stages of post production. I saw some of the actor's cut, namely the scenes I appeared in of course, and have to say that its looking incredible! I am very proud of it and can't wait to share it with the world. Two more months and it will be ready. If you haven't seen the trailer feel free to view it on our website at www.breadthievesthemovie.com.
Cheers everyone and have an outstanding week!!
G.
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
A tale of two friendships and how perspective is everything...
I want to extend a warm thanks to my friend Red Bird and her co-blogger Sparrow. Your journey has been a great read. They are retiring from their blog and I totally recommend you view their stories for they are a must read. Their blog goes under the title "Am I lost."
Now that we are on the topic of Red Bird, I have to say that a lot can be said about this dear person I call a friend. She is such a supportive person and cheers me on in all of the many things I do. She encouraged me to write this blog so to say that she knows the type of person I am is a total understatement. This blog has been a great outlet.
Red Bird and I had an unintentional absence from each other's lives that lasted for over 20 years. But when we visited each other last fall the feeling of our friendship allowed us to deduce that nothing had changed on how we viewed each other. A few days ago I was thinking about my visit with Red Bird and I started thinking about some of my other friends that I haven't visited with for awhile, and figured it would be worth it just to see what they might be up to now. So I went and stopped by a friend's business just to say hello. And boy, was that ever an eye opener.
This friend of mine is one of those people that have had everything handed to them since they were young. His parents were successful business people and naturally got him working in their very successful family business. It was about 16 years ago when I first started hanging out with this person. Back then he was a drunk, a philanderer, and took every chance he got to ridicule his friends just based on the fact he was wealthy. And why would he do that? He had everything. He had money, a career, a fast car, lots of women....everything came pretty easy to him. That being said, he was also a cancer survivor and I really wanted to make a point to stop by and see how he was doing.
So I went and visited this person. The only things he could talk about was how much beer he could still drink and all the sexy women he had been with. When I started to share all the awesome things that were happening in my life, he started to laugh at me and in front of everyone that was in there. He started to ridicule me to the customer he was servicing, and put me on the spot by trying to get me to do my stand up comedy routine knowing that some of my jokes are not really workplace appropriate and that I would probably refuse. There is a time and a place for everything. He laughed at me some more and made some more jokes....it was really quite pathetic. But his reaction to me pointed out something that really brought everything into perspective. He wasn't listening to what I was saying. This was evident when I told him that I had a movie coming out this fall but he reacted to what I said by yelling out loud "Awesome man! Now that you have all that money you can go buy a few rounds of beer for everyone here!" When he made that comment, it really confused me. I never told him I was rich or making tons of money. I only told him that I was busy writing, acting and had a film coming out. I was telling him how much fun life was now and he was telling his customer that my ex wife had left me because I was lame. This was 13 years ago and really had nothing to do with what was happening now. He never really told his customer that I was a single parent for 12 years and that the first three years of my son's life was spent dealing with an eating disorder. I was really shocked to get that kind of reaction from him. I never did anything to even warrant that kind of treatment. There was no really easy way out this situation with a few sets of eyes watching for what I was going to do next. I knew that his intent was meant to show everyone in his business how awful of a person I was. I didn't react to his words. I said to myself, "Glenn, do you really think that you should tell him that the only reason why you never stopped by all these years was because he was such an a&$^#@e back in the day? And on top of that he had not even changed his immature attitude, not even one bit, after all these years!" I'm really not like that but in the end I did get to say something to him as a intended reaction to his behavior. To find out what I said please read on as my response to him will be revealed at the end of this post.
I walked out to my car mad and grumbling. I saw the same insecure idiotic behavior that he had portrayed all those years ago. That is when it dawned at me. He had to demean me to others just to make himself look adequate. He saw that I was doing what I enjoyed to do and that I was reaching out to the world and embracing life. In comparison to my life he hadn't done a thing that made his life fulfilling. He still worked at his parent's business being the same guy he had always been while doing the same thing he had always done, all the while having the same dismal disposition he had always had. He was simply in a long term life rut and really looked quite happy being there. Poor him I suppose.
After I thought about the whole situation, I started to have feelings of negativity. I had to force myself to start thinking positively about this situation and see the silver lining. What came to me suddenly was the other side of this equation and I vowed to not stoop to his level. Honestly, this post should really be a tale of many friendships because I have so many people that cheer me on and are excited about all the different things I do....I don't have enough time to even scratch the surface on that topic. When I think about my really close friendships, I always think of the honesty and trust I share in these connections. Even if there is a long time between visits nothing compromises these fundamentals. If I don't see Red Bird for 5 years she might tell me to not make it such a long time between visits, but she will still love her awesome friend Glenn. I never have to wonder. My integrity speaks for itself. We should not be measured by the possessions we have or the accolades we acquire. We should enrich each other's lives by always doing what is right and what is honest Good people do good things.
Life perspective is everything when it comes to the type of friendships that you keep and the environments that you find yourself in. I know about what perspective does. It allows you to see both side of the fence....if you are negative it will be dark and murky. If it is positive it will be bright and happy. I see how perspective challenges me and shows me where I should be. Its a litmus test that I use to gauge on whether or not I am doing the right thing and keeping the right people in my life. These days the negative people and situations that involved them are a distant image in my mind. These days I know that I truly have great friends....I have two awesome careers.....and my creativity allows me to set goals for myself for the first time in my life. All I can say is that life is great and that it can only get better.
When I left my so called friend's shop, I replied to his comment by saying "Not likely."
Have a great week!
G.
Now that we are on the topic of Red Bird, I have to say that a lot can be said about this dear person I call a friend. She is such a supportive person and cheers me on in all of the many things I do. She encouraged me to write this blog so to say that she knows the type of person I am is a total understatement. This blog has been a great outlet.
Red Bird and I had an unintentional absence from each other's lives that lasted for over 20 years. But when we visited each other last fall the feeling of our friendship allowed us to deduce that nothing had changed on how we viewed each other. A few days ago I was thinking about my visit with Red Bird and I started thinking about some of my other friends that I haven't visited with for awhile, and figured it would be worth it just to see what they might be up to now. So I went and stopped by a friend's business just to say hello. And boy, was that ever an eye opener.
This friend of mine is one of those people that have had everything handed to them since they were young. His parents were successful business people and naturally got him working in their very successful family business. It was about 16 years ago when I first started hanging out with this person. Back then he was a drunk, a philanderer, and took every chance he got to ridicule his friends just based on the fact he was wealthy. And why would he do that? He had everything. He had money, a career, a fast car, lots of women....everything came pretty easy to him. That being said, he was also a cancer survivor and I really wanted to make a point to stop by and see how he was doing.
So I went and visited this person. The only things he could talk about was how much beer he could still drink and all the sexy women he had been with. When I started to share all the awesome things that were happening in my life, he started to laugh at me and in front of everyone that was in there. He started to ridicule me to the customer he was servicing, and put me on the spot by trying to get me to do my stand up comedy routine knowing that some of my jokes are not really workplace appropriate and that I would probably refuse. There is a time and a place for everything. He laughed at me some more and made some more jokes....it was really quite pathetic. But his reaction to me pointed out something that really brought everything into perspective. He wasn't listening to what I was saying. This was evident when I told him that I had a movie coming out this fall but he reacted to what I said by yelling out loud "Awesome man! Now that you have all that money you can go buy a few rounds of beer for everyone here!" When he made that comment, it really confused me. I never told him I was rich or making tons of money. I only told him that I was busy writing, acting and had a film coming out. I was telling him how much fun life was now and he was telling his customer that my ex wife had left me because I was lame. This was 13 years ago and really had nothing to do with what was happening now. He never really told his customer that I was a single parent for 12 years and that the first three years of my son's life was spent dealing with an eating disorder. I was really shocked to get that kind of reaction from him. I never did anything to even warrant that kind of treatment. There was no really easy way out this situation with a few sets of eyes watching for what I was going to do next. I knew that his intent was meant to show everyone in his business how awful of a person I was. I didn't react to his words. I said to myself, "Glenn, do you really think that you should tell him that the only reason why you never stopped by all these years was because he was such an a&$^#@e back in the day? And on top of that he had not even changed his immature attitude, not even one bit, after all these years!" I'm really not like that but in the end I did get to say something to him as a intended reaction to his behavior. To find out what I said please read on as my response to him will be revealed at the end of this post.
I walked out to my car mad and grumbling. I saw the same insecure idiotic behavior that he had portrayed all those years ago. That is when it dawned at me. He had to demean me to others just to make himself look adequate. He saw that I was doing what I enjoyed to do and that I was reaching out to the world and embracing life. In comparison to my life he hadn't done a thing that made his life fulfilling. He still worked at his parent's business being the same guy he had always been while doing the same thing he had always done, all the while having the same dismal disposition he had always had. He was simply in a long term life rut and really looked quite happy being there. Poor him I suppose.
After I thought about the whole situation, I started to have feelings of negativity. I had to force myself to start thinking positively about this situation and see the silver lining. What came to me suddenly was the other side of this equation and I vowed to not stoop to his level. Honestly, this post should really be a tale of many friendships because I have so many people that cheer me on and are excited about all the different things I do....I don't have enough time to even scratch the surface on that topic. When I think about my really close friendships, I always think of the honesty and trust I share in these connections. Even if there is a long time between visits nothing compromises these fundamentals. If I don't see Red Bird for 5 years she might tell me to not make it such a long time between visits, but she will still love her awesome friend Glenn. I never have to wonder. My integrity speaks for itself. We should not be measured by the possessions we have or the accolades we acquire. We should enrich each other's lives by always doing what is right and what is honest Good people do good things.
Life perspective is everything when it comes to the type of friendships that you keep and the environments that you find yourself in. I know about what perspective does. It allows you to see both side of the fence....if you are negative it will be dark and murky. If it is positive it will be bright and happy. I see how perspective challenges me and shows me where I should be. Its a litmus test that I use to gauge on whether or not I am doing the right thing and keeping the right people in my life. These days the negative people and situations that involved them are a distant image in my mind. These days I know that I truly have great friends....I have two awesome careers.....and my creativity allows me to set goals for myself for the first time in my life. All I can say is that life is great and that it can only get better.
When I left my so called friend's shop, I replied to his comment by saying "Not likely."
Have a great week!
G.
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