Greetings everyone! I apologize for the silence but life has indeed been busy but I am sure you understand....right? Thought so....
Well, for starters, I am writing this post with the utmost joy in my heart. About a year ago, I made a very hard decision that impacted me on many levels. I'll simplify it but just saying that a negative situation arose out of a hard decision that in the end made everyone involve grow as people and reinforced a bond that was made the moment I was knighted the title "Dad."
A year ago my son came up to me and said that he wanted to connect more with his mom and move in with her. At this point in time, he had been with me full time since he was 4. My son and I went through many situations together. Its not easy being a single parent and sometimes when things happen you get judged for it wrongly. There was a time when my son and I had to move three times in a month because a landlord couldn't provide a safe place for us to live. My son, who was 5 at the time, never once complained. We had to stay in an old Jewish funeral home, a house that had broken windows in it and no hot water. I had to boil water on the stove for over an hour just to make sure there was enough warm water in the tub for a bath. After finally getting into a new place and away from this landlord, the boyfriend of my ex started making comments on how I was such a bad parent because of how much I moved around. I mean come on! It was a character builder and we grew even closer as father and son because of the adversity.
Anyways, my son decided to move 2 hours away.....and after hearing his reasons behind it I finally said ok.
So lets rewind this a bit because there is a huge parallel that really drove home a "dad" lesson. We are not perfect creatures, but our flaws make us the men we are. My dad and I get along very well. He lives on the other side of the country so it has been very hard for me to get back for visits. A few years ago, while I was living the role of a struggling single parent, I was getting emails from him about his travels throughout the US in his Airstream motor home. It upset me because I was a struggling single parent. Just to put this into perspective, when I saw the movie Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith, it brought tears to my eyes because I too have lived that struggle of having my son with me while going through a housing and job crisis. I too had to make due with what I had around me.....I know the struggle. It made me a very strong man when it comes to matters of the heart. And, like what eventually happened between my dad and I, my son and I all of a sudden were not on speaking terms. I felt devastated when talking to him because as he was reacting to me negatively. All the struggles we persevered through were flashing before me and I couldn't remind him of this stuff because then I would be trying to guilt him and that is a line I would never cross. I don't guilt anyone into loving me.
Its really funny how fate reconnects you with people that have always been important to you. Right after this all happened I went on a trip to where I graduated high school. My dear friend Red Bird (read her blog Am I lost) and I spent some time talking during this trip and what she said really molded my thinking about what to do. Red Bird and I went to high school together and were, and still are, the best of friends. She really understood what I was going through. After explaining my confusion about this struggle, she said to me to just be there for him. It was an extremely profound yet simple answer really. And it said a lot to me. It suddenly dawned on me that what was happening to my son and I had also happened to my dad and I. The lesson he taught suddenly slapped me in the face. What I just learned from my dad now was exactly what Red Bird had told me. My dad was just there for me. My dad endured the silence. My dad sometimes sent me a message just to let me know he was thinking about me. He did this until I just...came around. Well, to make a very long story short, my son is now here for a month with his 5 old month lab cross puppy. You see I too did the same thing for my son as my dad did for me. I endured the silence...I sent messages to him just to let him know I was there. And, just as my dad did for me, picked up where I left off and just became dad. Hearing him call me "dad" after not seeing him for almost a year....absolutely priceless.
Oh yeah, almost forgot the guacamole part. My son still trusts my judgment on food (I love to cook) and so I introduced him to guacamole for the first time and he really liked it. So guacamole really pointed out that we were still two peas in a pod.
Now for other news. Just a really quick note that in about 2 1/2 months, I will be filming a pitching trailer for a feature movie I wrote called Oblivious. I have put together a crew and negotiated some locations and will be shooting around the middle of Sept. Stay tuned for more news as this experience progresses.
Have a great week everyone!!
G.
